SweetestSin's blog: "my inner most thoughts"

if i have the money oneday my cousin and i might go to fon du lac and see eugene. if you hear someone screaming from the plane...thats me

im so sorry and i hope we can be together again, it doesnt feel right not having you in my life i love you so much i know i have told alot of guys that but i look on you and i know that your the only one that when i say that i mean it

well my was fiance, read my blog and now he told me he cant be with me, that we live to far and i dont understand him. so i told him i took off the ring and i will send it to him. so now im going on my bed to cry.

sometimes i want to cry, and punch my fist through a wall. this is not the life i had amagined. i didnt have a childhood because me and my mom had to run away from my dad because he was trying to kill us. I didnt have much luck with the guys because they can be real assholes. I just hope this relationship with eugene works out because i do love him. but my life and relationships do get me to have anxiety attacks. Im so depressed I cry at school, when i go to bed. i dont really like my life right now.

Im getting married next year june 13th atleast i think i am. Do not really know If I am anymore have to deal with crap with the guy im with. Do not know If he really wants to get married, he says he does but everyday talk he asks like he dont want to meet me. And his sister takes over his life and he has to ask her if he can come down and be with me, i think thats very wrong. And she keeps telling him no. So I guess marriage wont happen. I just want to cry sometimes, I wanted a good life a husband, kids a job. But with this guy I dont know If it is for real or not.