DEAR BLOG,
I HAVE JUST MOVED DOWN TO FT. BRAGG, NORTH CAROLINA. I'VE BEEN LIVING IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA SINCE I WAS 4. WELL MY BODY SAID IT WAS A TIME TO MOVE AND MY SOUL WAS TELLING ME TO STAY IN VIRGINIA. BUT IN MAY 2004 I FINALLY MET MY FRIEND OF 5YRS. WE THEN HAD A CHILD IN FEB 2005. WE GOT MARRIED IN DEC 2006. WE WERRE STRUGGLING LIKE NO ONE WOULD EVERTHINK. BUT THEN IN FEB OF 2010 HIS GRANDPA HAD PASSED ON. SO HE ASKED ME TO COME SEE HIM AT HIS HOTEL ROOM. WELL ME AND OUR SON WENT TO THE HOTEL ROOM. HE SAW TARIQ FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3YRS. THEY HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY. WELL WHEN I GOT BACCK TO MY HOUSE MY BOYFRIEND OF THE TIME WAS RAISING CAIN. I HAD HEARD IT FOR ABOUT 5HRS. AND WAS TIRED OF HEARRING IT. SO I CALLED MY HUSBAND AND ASKED HIM TO COME GET ME. HE CAME AND GOT ME. I TOLD MYSELF I WAS DONE WITH STRUGGLING AND EVERYTHING. SO I DECIDED MYSELF TO GO TO NORTH CAROLINA WHERRE MY HUSBAND HAD A MILITARY HOUSE ALREADY. IT WAS MINE AND HIS HOUSE BUT HE HAD OTHER BITCHES IN IT. NO REAL BIGGIE, I JUST WANNA GET TREATED LIKE THE OTHER BITCHES. I WANT HIM TO BUY ME THINGS OFF THE COMPUTER. THERRE'S SHOES IN HIS CLOSET WHICH ARE SIZE 9'S AND 10. NONE OF THEM FIT ME. RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO GET ALL PRETTY FOR HIM AND CANT WHERRE THE SHOES LIKE I WANTED TO. BUT I SEE IT AS WHO CARES...... I FINALLY GET DOWN HERRE AND HE WORKS AND SHIT SO I HAVE BEEN HERRE CLEANING HOUSE AND COOKING HIS DINNER WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT. BUT HE COMES TO ME ALMOST 3 DAYS AGO AND TELLS ME HE HAS TO ATTEND A CLASS FOR 2WKS AND HE WILL BE AWAY FROM HOME. I WONT SEE HIM FOR 2WEEKS. SO DOES ANYONE WANNA HEARRE HOW I FEEL? OH WELL WHO FUCKING CARES, I'MMA TELL Y'ALL ANYWAY. I HAVE A LITTLE GIRL WHO WILL BE 2 IN JUNE. I HAD TO LEAVE HER BEHIND BECAUSE HER GRANDPARENTS WOULDN'T LET ME BRING HER WITH ME. SO IM MISSING THE FUCK UP OUT OF HER. HER DADDY CALLS ME EVERYDAY TO LET ME KNOW HOW SHE'S BEEN DOING. I AM JUST TRYING TO SAY I LEFT SOMETHING PRECIOUS AND DEAR TO ME TO BE UP HERRE TO GIVE IT A TRY. SOMEDAYS IT IS WELL BUT WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND CAN SIT AND ACCTUALLY HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THINGS I DONT WANNA BE HERRE NO MORE...... I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET QUIRA BACK OR GET HER HERRE WITH ME. SO NOW, AS OF WEDNESDAY I WILL BE HERRE ALONE WITH OUR SON AND WONT SEE HIM FOR 2WKS. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT??????
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