sexilildevil's blog: "my heart..."

Mistakes I mistakenly thought I was loved…. Why would I let myself feel that way? I guess I was mistaken… I mistakenly thought I came first.. I mistakenly thought I was your one and only.. I mistakenly thought that you could be faithful.. I mistakenly thought I could trust you not to break my already broken heart…. Now my stitched up heart oozes blood once more… All mistakes

I wish…. I Attempted to erase the memory, but it only cuts worse…. I hoped and prayed that I could erase the pain from the memories if I could forget them like a foolish child.. So now I sit here hoping, praying, and begging for you to come back to me. I only want it to be that way it was before… Why cant it go back to that? I wish I could turn back time and stop the incident from happening…. I wish I wasn’t the only one in this relationship who cared. I wish this was more than a one sided love… I wish… I wish.. I wish that I didn’t wonder who it was you actually love the way you claim to love me.. I wish…

Choose Wisely How could I believe you? How could I fall in love with someone who doesn’t love me in return? How can I stand idly by while you profess your love to another girl? How can you do such a thing? Why would you say what you say to me to someone else? Why do I care so much since you apparently don’t? Why do I put myself through this time and time again? Why do I stand idly by and watch you say those words to her and do nothing about it? What are you thinking when you say those words? Are you thinking of me when you say those amazing yet heartbreaking words to her? Or are you thinking of me when you say those infallible words to her? Who are you thinking of when you say “I Love you more than life itself”? Why would you want her over me?? You want someone you cant hold? Cant touch? Can never see the light in her eyes as you say “I love you”? Do you really want someone you know you could never be with over someone you can? Someone you can hold in your arms? Someone who can make everything all right again with just a smile? Is that really what you want? Or do you want something that’s not really there? You know she’ll NEVER be able to make you feel the way I do. You know she’ll NEVER come even remotely close to loving you the way I do. She’ll never treat you half as good as I do! How could you do this to me? Why would you say those words to her? What did I do to deserve such a thing? I realize now that I’ll never be as good as she is, will I? I’ll Never understand that side of you that she completely understands…. But that’s only because you wont let me… I’ll never be … HER! And I’m not about to try and compete with someone who’s not even here. So if that’s what you want …. Then GO and Take her… But don’t expect me to pick up the pieces of your heart when she breaks it and you come running back.. Because by that time I’ll be long gone… Pick Wisely…. BECAUSE I WONT WAIT AROUND FOREVER...