Well, my Grandma's funeral is in about an hour and a half. I found out this Sunday morning that she was ill and in the hospital. For some reason I felt I needed to go to her side immediately. So, I booked a flight and got to the hospital in LA by about 8:30 pm that night. Most of my family had been there and some were still by her side. It was hard to see her so fragile. She was the strength of the family, to me. She died at around 7:00 am the next morning.
As much as I would like to be there with my family right now, I needed to be here taking care of my responsibilities. My children, my job and my husband's and my health all need to come first. I know that Grandma would agree with me and is ok with the fact that although I may not be there in person, my love is.
Ever since I found out she was dying, all I can think of are the wonderful memories I have of her. It seems amusing to me that there are so many little things that one remembers. I have always associated the smell of Ivory soap with her. I will remember the many wonderful years that the entire family met in Sacramento for the Annual Memorial Day Weekend Jazz Festival.
I find it very fitting that she died on Memorial Day. Those memories will be that much stronger for me. Our family would all meet then and for Thanksgiving.....sort of our way of keeping a strong family bond. At least twice a year. It is quite the sight to see the entire family come together for any event. It would seem, that, no matter what was going on in our individual lives, we would put it aside to enjoy being with one another.
My Grandma would always be there to listen if I needed an ear or she would ever so subtly advise and guide me if that is what I needed, even if I didn't know it at the time. She was the one person I aspired to be like. She was loving, kind and understanding. I remember watching documentaries with her and Pop. I also played on her piano (not well, I might add) and listened to classical albums with her.
My daughter was wearing a vest that Grandma made many years ago, yesterday. I was immediately thrust back in time to when I was sitting next to her as she made it. Watching her knit and crochet was a great joy of mine growing up. Her love of books and history never ceased to amaze me. There is the memory of going through the Holocaust Museum with her, she was so patient with all my questions.
One great time I have close to my heart is when we all met in NY July of 1986. We saw many Broadway shows (to this day, some of my favorites), the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty and many other sights that most people only dream of. I will always remember the trips she would make around the world, whether it be China, Greece or Israel. I still have some of the postcards she sent. She inspired my collection of coins and dollars from other countries, and of course the family collection of paperweights. Every time I look around my house I notice that there are pieces of her influence everywhere.
I am jotting down these few memories to give a small inkling of how much this woman meant/means to me. I love you Grandma, and yes, I already miss you. I know that you are still here with me, in my heart and in my memories. No one can ever forget as wonderful of a person as you were. You are my strength.
