WELL WOUNDT YOU KNOW IT.....THINGS ARE REALY TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. GUESS MY DREAMS CAN JUST BE FUCKED ALL THE TIME. BUST MY ASS TOO FUCKING MUCH ONLY TO GET LET DOWN. I WONT BE WORKINGMY DREAM JOB LIKE I ONCE THOUGH ANS WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE. SO AS OF RIGHT NOW I WONT BE MOVING....WONT BE GOING TO DAYTONA AND WONT BE LIVING MY DREAM.......I JUST FUCKING GIVE UP!!!!!!! PLEASE DONT TELL ME IM TOO NEGATIVE CAUSE THATS NOT GONNA WORK THIS TIME....I WAS SO POSITIVE WITH THIS AND MAKING PLANS TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS AND THINK FOR MY SELF THIS ONE TIME AND NOT THINK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE AND IT STILL BACK FIRED.............I ALMOST THINK IM JUST GONNA MOVE THE FUCK BACK HOME AND SAY FUCK IT.
I TRUELY FEEL SO FUCKING HEART BROKEN AND I ONLY HAVE MYSELF TO BLAME...THIS TIME IT WASNT A FEMALE OR A FRIEND....I DINT LOSE ANYONE(THANKFULLY).......I FEEL LIKE IVE MADE SO MANY SACRIFICES IN MY LIFE THAT FOR ONCE I WAS GETTING SOMEWHERE AND ALL THE SACRIFICES IVE MADE AND THE SHIT IVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH WAS WORTH SOMETHING.
IT JUST REALY SUCK BECAUSE WHEN I WENT FOR THE INTERVIEW THE GUY I TALKED TO SAID HE WANTED ME ON THE TEAM AND EVEN STARTED DISCUSING GOING HERE AND DOING THIS AND THAT ONLY TO COME TO THE SHOP THIS MORNING TO READ AN EMAIL FROM THE TEAM DIRECTOR SAYING THAT THEY DONT NEED MY "SERVICES"......WTF......GRRRRRRRRRR
WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE SHIT DONT GO RIGHT FOR ME......
FUCK I KNOW PEOPLE ARE WORSE OF THEN ME....THE FIRES FUCKING SUCKED AND IF I COULD HAVE I WOULDA HELPED...I WOULD GIVEN MONEY.....I WOULDA VOLENTEERED.
FOR ONCE IM THINKING OF MYSELF......LIKE ALL MY FRIEND TELL ME TO..........AND I JUST FEEL LIKE I LET MYSELF DOWN.
I KNOW THOSE OF YOU WHO READ THIS WILL PROBIBLY NOT COMMENT.....OR THINK THAT YOU DONT WANNA HERE THIS.....BUT I NEED TO GET THIS OUT....I NEED TO WRIOTE ABOUT IT......I CANT TALK CAUSE I JUST TRIED AND IT KINDA MADE ME FEEL WORSE AND I DONT HAVE THE RIGHT PERSON TO OPEN UP TO THAT WAY.
I JUST REALY FEEL DEVISTATED.......AND IM JUST RAMBLING ON ABOUT STUPID SHIT......OH WELL.......THATS LIFE.....NO, THATS MY DAMN LIFE......LOL
WHAT FUCKING EVER.......OVER IT!
