Well I made it through Thanksgiving without my kids and it was so hard on me, not being able to share that day with my kids. And now Christmas is here and I have to get through that day too. I know that it is going to be a sad time for me right now not only because of my kids but also this time of the year has meant lose for me too I lost my dad on Dec.17th 1994 and then on Dec.21st 2004 I lost my older brother Jimmy. And CHristmas time is about family and right now I have no family here with me.I have Adam and thats just about it but this is also a hard time of the year for him. So I let him deal with that. While I find a way to deal with mine, and anyone who knows me knows I don't deal with things well at all. To be held and told everything is going to be ok is what I really need right now.But I don't know if that will happen when I need it the most.Which is right now. I am so emotional about this situation. Even though I know they will be here within the next few months it still doesn't help me right now.
