Few people know me, and even fewer people like me. But for those who care, here's a look inside of Wolfie.
I stopped in a truck stop tonight. It was a familiar one but one that I hadn't visited in quite some time. It didn't take me long to realize why I had not stopped there in 3 years.
My father introduced me to this particular truck stop, and for a few years (with the exception of my grandmother's funeral) the only words I have exchanged with the man have been profanities and promises of harm. He used to stop in and have breakfast twice a week at this place. I had not stopped here because I knew this and was avoiding any chance of confrontation with the man. I thought it was safe tonight since his run has changed and there would be no chance of seeing him. I was wrong.
When I sat down I immediately remembered our last meeting here, but was quickly able to put it out of my mind. Then the waitress came over and my introspective began.
She was a nice lady, and didn't know the can of worms she was opening when she asked if I was my father's son (she called him by name). I replied that he was responsible for getting my mom pregnant but I really didn't want to talk about him. She said that she knew I was his son because I look just like him, it was then that I came to a harsh realization. I hate myself because I hate my father.
I know that sounds screwed up, but it's true. I didn't meet the man until I was 27, and only spent 2 years getting to know him. Since that time I have done everything in my power to be the exact opposite of him. But his genetics are hard to escape.
I've always hated the way I look when I see myself in pictures, but it was tonight that I figured out the reason behind that. I do look like the man. I don't know how to fix this, but I sure wish I did.
