babygirluvs2dream's blog: "my every day life"

I was asked a while back what made me change my personality so drastically....( this from a girl I knew way back in elementary school)... I told her I didnt really change all that much... I have just become free to express myself differently... I am free from the fear that was making me hide who i truely was and am! I was thinking of this because I was recently asked why I think I am suck a dork and retard... this person(s) dont think im a dork or retard! but then again they havent seen me in YEARS!!! I decided that I would write a blog to describe exactly what I am talking about, so here goes:
When I was a child I was afraid of my own shadow let alone what other people thought of me. I would be so afraid of even talking to people that I would do just about anything to make me disappear. I wouldnt talk unless spoken to, then just answer the question and be quiet again... that all changed when I was in high school in St Regis Montana. That was where I met two very important people in my life... Stephinie (my best friend) and her mom Joyce. When I frist met "mom" I was totally afraid of her, she has a very strong personality and she is definately a dominate person when you frist meet her. Throughout my time with them I came to realize what a sweet and truely loving person "mom" was and is. Mom is by far the most incredible woman I have ever met in my life! She would take us to restaurants or the store and she would make me get whatever it was that I really wanted... she wouldnt let me hide away... She will tease me about it now, saying that teaching me to talk and say what is on my mind was the biggest mistake she ever made in life because now you cant get me to shut up lol! After spending three and a half years with them  I came to realize that I AM WORTH IT! That was something mom drilled into my head in that three year time. I am worth people noticing, I am worth being able to speak my mind, I am worth more than just someone for everyone to walk all over... I AM WORTH IT! She used to have me repeat it to her until I was blue in the face! But believe me it worked. Since then I have really come into the person I believe I was meant to be. I am still the giving, caring, nurturing person I always was, but now im just a tad bit more out going and definately more vocal! I have come to find that I LOVE making people laugh with my stupid antics!!!! The person with whom I had the ~dork~ discussion was told (by me) that in my next blog I would include some of my antics just so they would know exactly what I am talking about when I say I am truely a dork... for those of you that knew me back in the day may not believe some of these... unless you have been around me in the last three years!
So the first and probably by far the funniest took place two years ago while I was working at Goodwill in Renton~ okay so picture this... I am bordering 6'1 and I am a bigger girl~definately not skinny by any means~ I am working the morning shift all of the people on the floor are WAY shorter than I am. The MOD (manager on duty) Sonia, asked me to reorganize the purse section....which just happens to be one of the most dreaded areas in the whole store!... I asked her why they always put me doing purses.. she told me it was because I was tall and I could reach the top hooks to move them around. I told her (being funny of course) that she was discriminating against me because I am tall. I told her (and you have to picture this) that I was going to walk around all day like im super short (doing the walkin squat) she laughed so hard I thought she was going to pass out she wasnt gettin enough oxygen!!! For the rest of my shift every time I saw her I would squat down and walk like that...
When I was working the closing shift I would sing... but not just to the songs on the radio that we hear a Billion times.. they play the same songs over and over again all day long! I would make up songs while I was cleaning different areas of the store... they would be the most stupidly ridculous songs that i had the whole staff laughin at me... but no one ever told me to stop singing!!!
I remember being a kid and thinking my moms bras were the biggest in the world... now that I am bigger than she is... I was at my sisters house the other day using her shower and doing my laundryl... I had my hands full and my laundry basket couldnt hold any more,, my bra fell out so what do i do... fold it in half and wear it on my head as a helmet... I took it down to the car like that... not caring if anyone saw me or not... my mom busted a gut laughin at my dumb ass! it was GREAT!!! so yeah those are a few of the more retarded things i have done... I know im a dork but it is so much fun!!! I love making people laugh :)