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Man Named Sarge

Today while at my family reunion I met a man known simply as Sarge. He wasn't with our family, he was with his Church who come out to that park every Sunday for lunch and to also give food to the homeless who stay in the Park. It was only when Duckee and I decided to go for a walk after we were so stuffed full of food that we met this man. He stopped to ask us about our piercings, like so many that day had already done. He told us about one of his son's who has an eyebrow piercing. He asked if it was any different from his time, that when you got into a fight people went to rip out your piercings if possible. We answered his question and told him how it was no different now then it was back then. From there the man named Sarge went into his life. Not too involved at first, just enough to start up a conversation about his life as it is now. He is a recovering drug addict and lives in what I believe to be a half way home with 3 other men. Two of which are black, one of which is mexican, and Sarge who is a white man. He was talking to us about how one of the black men made Sarge's friend (who is also white) feel inferior to him because the black man was being nothing but nasty and acting like a total jackass. Sarge happened to tell us the black man who acted so mean makes Sarge's little guy within want to come back out again. To understand this I should explain about Sarge's background. Sarge was in the Military for 14 years, was homeless for another 14 years, Was a drug addicted for many many years, A biker affiliated with many different biker gangs from Las Vegas, Nevada to Fairfeild, California. He told us he was a guy who used to collect the money the drug addicts owed the Dealers. Of course many a times guns, knives, and fighting were involved. He told us he believed if he were to point a gun, he intended to use it and shot to kill, If he drew a knife he intended to use it and stab to kill. And of course if a fight were to happen he intended to stay in it till either him or the other person were no longer moving. When he talked about the little man, he meant the man who did drugs, got into fights, and was a bad person. He talked to us about he is still trying to find his way in this life, and it seemed he hadn't been in the Church that long, but I know he had god working on him, opening him up into bigger and brighter things. He told us about how each woman he had ever impregnated were never married to him and how every woman he ever wed, never bared a child while with him. He told us how each time his sons (of which he had 3, 1 from the first woman and 2 from a woman in Las Vegas) grew out of diapers and able to be a little more self sufficient the mothers would take the children and leave him. They would leave the raising of the child to Sarge, who gladly took on that task because he was raised to believe that if he got a woman pregnant he should be man enough to help a lot with raising the child. He lost the battles in custody over the children because of his past and because the judges would sympathize with the woman and how they feared for their life. I give it to them because Sarge looked hardened and strong. But he did not posess any trait that would lead me to believe he would ever hit a woman or endanger one for that matter. Most espeically the ones who bared his children. As he was talking he had told us his Pastor told him to pray for thy enemy, because then will your enemy be able to be your friend. And as it says in the bible, love thy neighbor. He told us about how he strugled with his life and to do right by people. He was talking about how he gave up shooting up drugs. All the while as he was talking to him I felt very blessed to have had the chance to meet this man. He was talking about how God had a plan for him, of which he did not know as of yet. I think God's plan for him, is to speak out and educate other people about that life and how bad it really is. Also to help those in recovery of drugs, because he himself got out of so many years of it. I think we talked to this man for about 30 minutes to an hour before he had to head back to his Church's picnic. I felt compelled to pray with this man about his life and pray for the lord to bless him and keep him strong. I will pray for him for he has touched my life in a way I could never explain. All the while I was talking to his man and thinking about my boyfriend. They had a lot of similarities and when the man named Sarge told us his nationalities it made it just that much more profound. He is Irish, German, and Native american. Talking to this man also I was reminded of the movie I watched last night called V for Vendetta. I won't go into that movie but just say that it affected my life quite a lot and got me thinking. But in the movie their was a saying which was "There is no such thing as coincidence, only the illusion of coincidence". Talking to this man made it feel like a coincidence because of how much like my boyfriend he was, but I know that it was god's plan for us to meet and for us to have that conversation. It was one of the best conversations I can say I've had in quite a lot time. I may have been mainly a mere listener to this man's story but he had such profound affect it has made and I'm sure it will continue to make upon my life.

Forever Love

Have you ever loved someone so much that you would give anything in the world for them? No matter what they did or said you could never stop loving them every second and of every minute of your life. Have you ever had a person in your life that knows you better then anyone else and you know them just as well and no matter how much you try you can never find anything that you dislike about that person? The thought of this person makes you smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside and the thought of being with them and being with them makes you cry tears of joy. Have you ever cared or loved for someone more then words could ever say? You would do absolutely anything to see this person happy and even if it was with someone else you would still be happy for them if they were truly happy. Have you ever loved someone so much you would be absolutely devastated if they were to even just get angry with you or if you never talked to them again? You wouldn't be able to go on with your life if they passed away or you never heard from them again. I love him more then life and for as long as I've known him he's been there for me countless times. He is the voice inside my head and is the person who has taught me some of lifes most important lessons. I would give him anything I possibly could. He has my heart and will always have it. He continues to amaze me every time I talk to him and he knows all the ways to make me smile. From day one I've cared for him quite a lot. We were just friends on the internet then and I didn't care I wanted to get to know him more and more. I was infatuated and facinated by all the things he had to say. through the mist of it all my heart filled with a love like no other for him even if I had never seen what he looked like. It is the truest purest love I could ever feel and just the thought of it makes me happy. Few months after I met him online I finally was able to meet him in person. I had never seen what he looked like before hand so I was scared. As I saw him walking up to were my cousin I were sittin outfront of the target we were at my heart skipped a beat and it felt as if I had seen him before but it was only in my dreams. I felt myself fall that much deeper for him and the rush of just a hug from him was amazing. We went to the mall as walking thru that mall I was in aw of him and couldn't take my eyes away from him. Just looking into his eyes was a feeling like no other. As we left I took his hand in mine and I swore my heart was going to explode from beating so fast and I just could stop smiling. The last hug I was able to give him I wish could have last for ever it felt so perfect. Mind you the entire time I've kept my feelings because I never thought he felt the same. Now a year and 3 months after seeing him I finally allowed myself tell him my feelings. I could go on forever about how much I care about him and how my love for him will never fade but grow stronger as the days go on. I will never forget the night I was telling him my feelings I didn't think I had the balls to say. The tears of happiness rolling down my face as I thought of all he's done for me and knowing that he will continue to do so many amazing things for me that I could never even put into words. I remember saying it all to him again on the phone and trying to hold back the tears of joy again. That was on a couple nights ago and my love for him just grows and grows. We are seperated by about 200 miles and about a 3 hour drive away. We are long distance but we are trying to make this work. I can only pray to the lord for the strength and keep the doubts at bay to be able to do this. I know how much I want to be with him and I know I will do WHATEVER it takes to be with him. I know people don't approve of this and I know there are many doubters out there or those who think this is something pathetic. And to those people I just hope you will find a love that you would do anything for even if the odds are against you. I pray to God that I will never lose him because I have already experienced a small bit of what it would be like and I just fall apart and I can't handle it. I don't think I could ever get over it. I know I will NEVER forget him and I will NEVER stop loving him. He forever has a large part of my heart and I know no one could ever replace him or ever come close to him.
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