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My City

MY CITY I once lived in a city. It was a strong, safe city. It had high walls around it built in earlier times to fend off frequent attackers. The walls were strong ones and I maintained them in order to keep myself safe from hurtful things. I can't say that I always felt safe in my strong city, but it was as close as I could get. But I was alone in my city. My city had become a prison for me. The same walls that I had built to keep out pain had also kept out good things, things that made life worth living for. While I was relatively safe in my city, I was besieged in a prison of my own making. Yet I continued maintenance on my walls. I chose the safety of a self-made prison rather than face the dangers that lay on the outside. Even after there were no more attacks, and no more attackers, I kept up my city's walls. Then one day I heard of another city. A traveler from another city had gained my trust and I gave her admittance to my city. It was the first real company I had had in a very long time. Time after time my traveler friend returned. I soon began to lose interest in my walls. It's amazing how fast they fell when I forgot about them. I don't know if my traveler friend thought it strange to find the walls around my city coming down. I myself did not notice. I enjoyed her company so much that my walls did not even cross my mind. I wondered what sort of city it was that my traveler friend had come from. It was then that I realized that my walls had come completely down. They were beyond repair and to my surprise I found that I did not wish to build them up again. So I left my once strong city and set out to find that other city from where my traveler friend had come. The place where I, for some reason, had begun to believe I could be safe and yet not alone. It was not a long journey. I soon reached the city I was looking for. I don't know what I expected to see when I reached that city. But what a sinking feeling I had when I stood before the city and found it surrounded by high walls probably as strong and solid as mine had been. And she wouldn’t let me in. I couldn’t go back, for the old city would never feel like home again. And it would be much too difficult to rebuild those walls a second time. So I wander outside the other city. I still talk to my traveler friend and I try to imagine what the city must be like from the things she has said. How I long to be in that city, to be next to that friend who helped me escape my own prison. If only she would open the gates for me. I would have a city to be at home in once more. And hopefully be better off than I was before. I know what I left behind and I do not miss it nor do I feel the least bit of longing to return. So I wait on the outside of this other city praying that some day I will earn the trust that is required to be admitted. I fear I may have to wait forever……..for something that may never come…………..
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