qfreak69's blog: "My Brother"

Grief is an awful thing. It eats at your very soul. Death of a family member is never easy to bear. But life itself is not fair. Grief can causes one to not believe in the existence of God, but this universe is too ordered not to have a creator. Be he good or bad; is not for us to question, even with the death of a love one. I have no one to blame but myself for not having been as close to my brother as I should have been, he was only 45 with a son of 9 years old which I will not get to know, because I am also dead to the family, not only separated by 2700 miles, but by facts of life. They wouldn't even let me talk to my brother on the phone, and the funeral is in three days, and I don't have and can't get the money or make arrangements to fly to the funeral. So, they will be at me for not going, because they thought I wouldn't go. They wouldn't even give me time to get there. But I have neven been part of my family since going over seas for my country, just like my first Christmas being back in the states. I went home to an empty house, they had moved and didnit tell me. My Christmas that year was spent in an empty abyss, which scarred me for life. "Nothing is free, nothing is sacred, and nothing is clean", this is a quote from Freakhouse, I have to give them credit for this. This emptiness now can never be filled. Love of one's brother, can't be replaced, now I have no grandfather, father or brother. And all the pain, I have, is eating me up inside. God has forgotten me, is what I feel, although I know he has little time for me, as sinner, as I am. I all the bands I know, that have played for me, we must rock on, I have to rock on, to honor my brother, and brothers' in arms, the soldiers that my band honor, just as them, my brother served his country for fourteen years, in the US Navy. Dead Soldiers will never forget the sacrifices of those who have served. James Burgess now rests with all the rest. And "James" I am sorry for not having what I needed to be there, may your soul forgive me. James S. Burgess, Chief Petty Officer, U.S, Navy, Gulf War Veteran, may he rest-in-peace.

Your Brother,

Joel G Burgess
1973-1982 U.S. Air Force, SSGT, Vietnam Veteran.