Fakes
Why is it that my rants revolve so much around the antics of those online who portray themselves as bdsm or D/s? Well maybe it is because in all my contact with those in real life who are involved in the practice and love of bdsm, I have been lucky not to witness this kind of behaviour, or perhaps, it isn't so much "luck" maybe it's because in the main the kinds of games I see on line just don't happen. Nooooo I am not going into another Gor rant *laughs* this time what has attracted my notice and ire are those poor unfortunate souls who so obviously have self esteem problems that they would be reduced to sending out fake pictures of themselves to attract attention.
Why do they do this, and more to the point why do they think anyone with half a brain would be fooled by it? Actually this isn't a problem that's confined to lifestyle chat rooms, I was an admin for a vanilla room and we had this happen time and time again, so the phenomena appears to be fairly common place.
I find it terribly sad that someone would feel so insecure at their ability to gain and hold another's attention and affection based on being themselves, because it is actually far harder to develop and maintain a fake persona than it is to be yourself. Any "relationship" they form is based on a fragile tissue of lies; it has no possibility of growing or becoming real because to do so would expose the deception. When they are seeking out D/s relationships this becomes even more of a ridiculous foundation since there is no trust, no openness, and no honesty.
I have some news for those who would even consider this "game" you are missing out!! Yes that's right before you go congratulating yourself on "hooking" that desirable Dom or sub take a lil look in the mirror, YOU haven't hooked them, the porn star or person whose picture you are using has their attention NOT YOU. The people whose words and feelings you are mimicking or even cut n pasting have their interest, not the real you.
You are missing out on some wonderful opportunities, the opportunity to discover that real people prefer real people, that whether you are short, tall, fat or thin, 18 or 80, there are people out there who are attracted to you. That a good mind and personality are valued more than a perfectly matched pair of boobs or blemish free arse. You are missing out on opportunities to discover the wonders of being loved and valued for the person you are, inside and out, you are missing out on the chance to be proud of your body and the way you live your life. You are missing out on the opportunities to learn about this lifestyle and what it can bring you, you are missing so many chances to discover aspects of yourself that have been dormant or hidden, you are missing out on the chance to speak out about the things that are important to you. You are missing out on so much!
To those of you that are real and who like me do get irritated by the antics of these "fakes", take heart in knowing that you will be loved and valued for who you are, and any relationship that you form will be far more satisfying and rewarding than any these people make. If a Dom or sub that you had been interested in falls for these games and chooses them over you, congratulate yourself rather than feel aggrieved, if they are that shallow that a posed pic or fake persona would turn their head then they were not the right person for you and you have lost nothing worth having in the first place.
