So... my normal, boring, ordinary life. It tends to lash out and do something crazy every now and again to keep me on my toes, or I guess make me laugh if I'm getting too serious. Stupid stuff like this always happens to me, and nobody else I know has these kind of problems, lol... So today was my last day at Kroger. I was scheduled for a 4 hour shift (11:15-3:15) and was hoping for a quick, uneventful day. So, I arrive at work, barely clocking in by 11:15, but glad I'm not late. I put my stuff in my locker and head downstairs to work. Throughout the day, I see people doing random chores, cleaning behind things that haven't been moved in months, picking up trash along the road, scouring the floors, etc. I wonder just what's going on, or if it's just a Cleaner Kroger New Years resolution or some crazy Key Retailing scheme. When it gets to be almost break time (believe me, I watch the clock), April pages me to come upstairs. I go up there and she tells me that the President of Kroger is coming to our store and she wants me to vacuum upstairs and move the cleaning supplies out of the elevator (we use it kindof like a closet for brooms and mops and things like that). Ok, so I ask her where the vacuum is, and what all she wants me to move out of the elevator. That gets decided and I ride the elevator downstairs, wheel the first mop & bucket out, and turn around for the second one. Now most elevators, if there is something obstructing it from closing, it will not close on it, but stay open. Not so, with our Kroger elevator. It happens that the first mop handle had not completely cleared the door's path, and was subsequently jammed into the elevator door as it came crashing to a close. Hell. I'm in the elevator and the door is jammed shut. This is no good. So I wait for a minute, push a few buttons, nothing happens. I figure April should probably be wondering where I am, so I'm not too worried. After a few more minutes, I knock on the door a bit. Now, the elevator that goes up to the offices is in the front of the store, right in front of all the cash registers, so I know there are a lot of people out there to hear me, but I don't want to make a bunch of noise because I didn't want to be a big distraction. When nobody hears me knocking, I start to get worried. I look over at the elevator buttons again, and there is one with a bell next to it, so I push it, hoping the noise isn't super loud or anything crazy. The resulting buzz/ding was not too frightening, but it seemed loud enough for my tastes, coming from somewhere above my head, and I assumed that it would be audible from outside my metal box. Getting no response from my brand new dinger system, I started to try to pry open the door with one of the sticks that was sitting in the elevator. No luck. Back to the button panel. Well, there is this emergency phone... No. Not using that. What if it goes to the Police Station? How EMBARRASSING would that be? OMG no. DINNGGGGG DING DING!!! No response. KNOCK KNOCK THUD KICK KNOCK. Still no response. Well poo, this is not a good thing... I'm supposed to be vacuuming, and what if I have to pee??? I'm supposed to be having a break soon.... ok DING DING DING DING!!!!! Finally somebody hears me and says something. I hear April say "she's upstairs sweeping." OMG!!!!! NO I'M NOT!!!! I'M STUCK IN HERE!!!! Ok, so now I know somebody knows I'm in this stupid elevator. Ok, they're going to go get Mr. Reinhardt. Great. He's going to have a spaz attack, and he's like, the manager/boss/head dude of the store. Well, soon Mr. Reinhardt gets there. SUZANNE! ARE YOU OK IN THERE???? Yeah, dude, the door just shut, that's my only problem. OK!!!! WE'RE GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THERE OK? Good plan, Mr. Reinhardt. So they page Mr. Hahn, the other manager/boss/head dude of the store. Oh goodie, now we've got two ghostbusters on the scene. Oh, now they're calling the elevator company. Alright... gonna get out soon. Hopefully. They get out some keys and fiddle around, I see random fingers poking through the crack (the door never did shut fully, it was about 1/2" open because of the darn mop handle), and I'm just sitting in there on the folding chair which was luckily being stored in the elevator, feeling hopeless and really embarrassed. SUZANNE!!!! ARE YOU OK IN THERE??? Yup, still fine, dude. Chillin' like a villain in the elevator. ARE YOU SITTING DOWN YET?? I'm not sure what you mean, yet, but yes, I sat on this nice black chair... GOOD! VERY GOOD, SUZANNE. Thanks. Do I get a gold star? NOW, IF YOU START FEELING DIZZY, I WANT YOU TO GRAB THE RAILING. Ok, Mr. Reinhardt, got it. I'm pretty sure there's plenty of air in here, especially with that crack that it's still open. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic. SUZANNE, WE'RE CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT- WE'RE CALLING 911. You're doing WHAT?!??!?!? Oh my goodness, I thought I was embarrassed before, now they are bringing in the fire department, GREAT! Well, hopefully one of the firefighters is hot, then maybe I can redeem myself in front of my peers. I know they're all out there laughing at me. Gosh I feel stupid. SUZANNE! WE'RE GOING TO TURN OFF THE LIGHTS FOR A MINUTE, BUT THEY'LL COME ON AGAIN SOON. Ok, does that mean it's naptime? I hear them outside talking about how they've never seen an elevator be broken like this, and I'm wondering just how long this is going to take, and whether the fire department is going to have to use the jaws of life or something crazy like that to get me out of this lunchbox. SUZANNE! THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS HERE... THEY'RE PULLING UP ON SITE. Wow, that sounds intense. Hope they can get me out! Lalalala... I hear them outside telling the firefighters what my name is and what happened and one of them saying how he doesn't have a clue what to do (reassuring, I know). Pretty soon, the door just randomly pops open, and I hear one of the firefighters say something about how they didn't do anything, I guess the elevator key finally worked or something, but when the door opened, there were like 3-4 firefighters on either side of the door looking in at me... hey!!! Nice to meet ya... oh gosh this is embarassing. Thank you! Well, suffice it to say, I came out fine, and I finally got my break, and after all this mess I might end up in the 911 calls in tomorrow's paper! Wahooo! Only me, I swear. Talk about an uneventful last day. They took me off the cleaning job. Oh, and if you see the "out of order" sign on the Kroger elevator on Ashland Road... I did that. It was all me... I hope this stuff doesn't happen in 2007.
