Someone's blog: "My big mouth"

"IN THE ALLEY" THE SUSPECT IS IN THE ALLEY, HE'S DEALING AROUND THE CLOCK, IT'S GETTING TO BE DISTURBING, TO THOSE ON THIS BLOCK, A CALL TO DISPATCH, …PLEASE SEND US YOUR BEST, THE OFFICER RESPONDS, HE'S WEARING HIS VEST, HE PULLS UP IN THE ALLEY, HE'S 10-23, IT'S JUST BEFORE DAWN, AND IT'S STILL DIFFICULT TO SEE, ALONE WITH THE SUSPECT, THERE'S NO WAY TO TELL, THE SUSPECT IS 10-73, HE WANTS TO SEE HIM IN HELL, A WARM SIMPLE GREETING IS IN VAIN ON THIS MORN, THE HAIL OF GUNFIRE, I STILL SEE THE FLESH THAT WAS TORN, "I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE ALLEY", "SEND SOME HELP IF YOU CAN", ALL RESPOND, DOWN TO THE VERY LAST MAN, WIDE OPEN'S MY THROTTLE, MUCH FASTER THAN I SHOULD, I RACE TO THE ALLEY, TO HELP IF I COULD, THE LOOK ON THE FACE, OF A YOUNG LITTLE GAL, TELLS ME I AM TOO LATE, I COULDN'T SAVE MY PAL, SOMEHOW WE MANAGE, TO DO WHAT WE MUST, TO CAPTURE THE SUSPECT, HIS DOOR I WILL BUST; CALVIN WAS READY, AS WE BROKE THROUGH THE DOOR, THE SUSPECT WAS WAITING, WITH HIS DOPE AND A LIL BIT MORE, CALVIN WAS SAVED ON THAT DAY…FOR AWHILE, SOON AFTER, HE LEFT US, GOD, HOW I MISS HIS SMILE, THE STANDOFF WENT ON FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, UNTIL OUR ROUNDS, FINALLY BLEW THE SUSPECT AWAY, CURSED BE THIS SUSPECT, AND ALL THAT HE DID, AND CURSED BE THIS HATRED, OF HOW I LONG TO BE RID, OUR BROTHERS MEMORY, LET IT NOT BE IN VAIN, FORGET NOT, WILL HIS BROTHERS, WITH OUR CRUSHING PAIN, SO REMEMBER OUR BROTHERS, AND ALL THAT THEY GAVE; THEY GAVE THEIR LIVES, FOR YOURS TO BE SAVED. -AUTHOR CHOOSES TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS I wish He would not stay anonymous because He is a Fantastic author!

TOP TEN BEST THINGS TO DO WITH CAREER CRIMINALS: 1) Murderers: Let them choose one of two "early retirement plans" - lethal injection or the electric chair. 2) Rapists: Make them wear pink tutus for the duration of their next prison term. 3) Robbers: Make them pay for room and board. 4) Drug dealers: Let them perform their own body cavity searches while everyone watches. 5) Drunken drivers: Decorate their cells with pictures of their victims. 6) Terrorists: Implant a homing device behind their left ear - and an explosive behind the right. 7) Arsonists: Use them for scientific experiments and medical research. 8) Child molesters: Stop them from reproducing by having them spayed or neutered by a veterinarian. 9) Cop killers: Use them as live organ donors. 10) Corrupt politicians: Introduce them to Islamic law and let med students get some practice by amputating whatever body part it was that they used to commit their crimes.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST AND.... 1. No, I don't know who you are 2. No, I don't care who you know 3. Yes, you do pay my salary 4. Yes, you can have my job 5. No, I don't have anything better to do 6. Yes, I arrest real criminals sometimes 7. No, I'm not picking on you because you're________________ 8. No, I can't give you a break 9. No, I don't know your friend, Officer____________ 10. Yes, you will be able to make a phone call 11. Yes, you probably will never do it again 12. No, we can't talk about it 13. Yes, it does make me happy 14. Yes, you will see me in court Your Arresting Officer

What is Said What is Meant! 1- While on routine patrol... -I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed. 2- The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner -He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS" 3- The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control -It was raining. 4- This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant. -It was too hot to ride in the car. 5- I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner... -The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by. 6- Knowing the suspect had a criminal history... -He puked on my uniform one night... 7- The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past... -I've got two theft cases hanging over his head... 8- While being arrested, this subject resisted being injured in the act... -He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses... 9- The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations... -I wrote one citation for each swear-word he used... 10- Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in" so this writer entered through the door... -The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door. 11- The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies... -I sent them to a nonexistent address which I called the "Command Post". 12- I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding... -She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over. 13- The Chief appeared at the scene and took command... -I sent him to the same address as the reporters. 14- Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions. -It was my bowling night... 15- The motorist eyes were glassy; he had slurred speech, was unsteady on his feet and smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage. -He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat. 16- Using only enough force to restrain the subject... -My favorite song is "Drop-kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life" 17- The defendant asked this officer's advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment... -I told him he didn't have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.

**TEN THINGS ABOUT A COPS WIFE OR G/F** Body: 1......... THE AVERAGE WIFE KISSES HER HUSBAND BYE AND TELLS HIM TO HAVE A GOOD DAY WHEN HE GOES TO WORK. A COP'S WIFE KISSES HER HUSBAND BYE AND TELLS HIM TO PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN HE GOES TO WORK. 2......... THE AVERAGE WIFE THINKS THROUGHOUT THE DAY, WHAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND ARE GOING TO EAT WHEN HE GETS HOME FROM WORK. A COP'S WIFE SPENDS THE DAY WONDERING IF HER HUSBAND IS GOING TO COME HOME FOR DINNER. 3......... THE AVERAGE WIFE GETS PHONECALLS FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY THROUGHOUT THE DAY ASKING HER HOW SHE AND HER HUSBAND HAVE BEEN. A COP'S WIFE GETS NERVOUS WHEN THE PHONE RINGS BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID THAT IT'S SOMEONE HE WORKS WITH CALLING HER TO TELL HER THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. 4........... THE AVERAGE WIFE ASKS HER HUSBAND "HOW WAS YOUR DAY" WHEN HE GETS HOME FROM WORK. A COP'S ALREADY KNOWS THAT HER HUSBAND WOULD RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT HIS DAY WHEN HE GETS HOME. 5........... THE AVERAGE WIFE WAKES HER HUSBAND UP ON CHRISTMAS MORNING TO OPEN CHRISMAS PRESENTS WTIH THEIR CHILDREN. A COP'S WIFE WAKES UP WITH HER HUSBAND AT 4 A.M. WHILE HE'S PUTTING ON HIS UNIFORM FOR WORK AND SAYS, "PLEASE BE CAREFUL". 6........... THE AVERAGE WIFE MAY HELP HER HUSBAND LAY OUT HIS SUIT AND TIE, RUGGED WORK WARE OR CASUAL CLOTHING FOR HIS NEXT WORK DAY. A COP'S WIFE MAKES SURE HER HUSBAND IS WEARING HIS BULLET PROOF VEST, ASIDE FROM HIS UNIFORM, EACH DAY BEFORE HE GOES TO WORK. 7............ THE AVERAGE WIFE NORMALLY DOES NOT REMEMBER THE DREAMS THAT SHE HAS EACH NIGHT. A COP'S WIFE REMEMBERS MANY DREAMS THAT SHE HAS AT NIGHT BECAUSE A LOT OF THEM ARE ABOUT HER HUSBAND BEING KILLED WHILE AT WORK. 8............ THE AVERAGE WIFE SITS DOWN WITH HER HUSBAND AND FAMILY ON CHRISTMAS DAY TO EAT LUNCH. A COP'S WIFE KNOWS THAT HER HUSBAND WILL SPEND A FEW MINUTES WITH THE FAMILY BUT HAS TO LISTEN TO HIS RADIO IN CASE HE IS CALLED OUT FOR SOME OTHER FAMILY WHO IS FIGHTING ON CHRISTMAS DAY. 9............ THE AVERAGE WIFE COMPLAINS ABOUT HER HUSBAND TO HER FRIENDS ABOUT UNIMPORTANT DETAILS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. A COP'S WIFE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE AVERAGE WIFE CAN'T BE MORE APPRECIATIVE ABOUT WHAT HER HUSBAND DOES FOR A LIVING. 10............ THE AVERAGE WIFE COMPLAINS TO HER HUSBAND ON THE PHONE ABOUT THE ASSHOLE COP THAT WROTE HER A SPEEDING TICKET THAT DAY. A COP'S WIFE HANGS UP THE PHONE WITH HER HUSBAND BECAUSE HE IS CALLED TO GO TO THAT AVERAGE WIFES HOUSE, WHICH HE JUST WROTE THE SPEEDING TICKET TO, BECAUSE OF THE CRIMINAL THAT IS IN HER HOUSE TRYING TO HURT HER AND NOW THAT ASSHOLE COP IS CALLED TO PROTECT HER. ............WHY DON'T WE GIVE THESE MEN AND WOMEN A BREAK FOR ONCE?

New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy stains Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off. Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift. You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station. Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud. The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke. Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom". If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction. Coffee machines only break down on the graveyard shift. Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts. You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town. To error is human, to forgive is against department policy. You will find a "police discount" one day before payday. Shatterproof flashlights seldom are. You will remain in perfect health until your days off. Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you. No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas. Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break. The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you. Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day. Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours. Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff. You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions. If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you. The speed you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer. Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy. Bullet proof vests might be. The number of citizens that approach you during lunch is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to eat. Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit. Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density. Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket. NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet. Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way. You will never get a bomb threat call until the squad is away on training. The experience of your DA is inversely proportional to the importance of the case he is prosecuting. Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done. Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder. You receive a subpoena for a major felony case for the first day you’re paid for, nonrefundable vacation. In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any impact weapon used will strike cops more times than crooks. Do unto others, but do it first. Eat right, Exercise, and Die anyway. You will be called into work on your day off when your family has planned a party at the lake. Your squad car will only break down when you are outside your beat. Waterproof boots aren't. You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea. You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL. Freebees will only arrive at the station on your days off. There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear. There is an inverse relationship between the number of auto club stickers on a rear bumper and how well the person drives. You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray. You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day. To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible! Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty. The hardest job for a Hostage Negotiator is to negotiate with the crisis committee! No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea...usually the Chief's If your patrol car's air is out the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog. On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk. When you’re in a hurry, which is when all slow and "lack of attention" drivers are driving on the road. You always have a big use of force on your Friday before your vacation. Never respond to a domestic with anyone braver than you If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening Your overheads and siren will only fail during a pursuit You will only roll through a stop sign when your Chief is sitting at the other side of the intersection K-9 units only do stupid thing's in public. The day you let your girlfriend ride out with you, your wife comes by the station to visit. Court will be canceled only after you have changed all your plans to be there. You will be decorated for stupidity, and busted for brilliant work. When closing the Sally Port door, if a fellow officer’s car is under it pushing the stop button will only slow it down. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing! The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it. You will only lock yourself out of your cruiser when a Supervisor is on scene, about to arrive on scene or is the only person available to fetch the spare set of keys from the station. Putting in a request to go home early is the best way to jinx yourself and end up on overtime. It will always be busy as hell when you don't feel like doing anything and will always be dead as heck when you are out looking for something to do. Just when you are thinking about making a pit stop in case they call you for an emergency they'll call you for an emergency. Crime only occurs on days that end in y. You will only talk bad about another officer when they are standing behind you. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired. You will run out of road flares on the foggiest or darkest night of the year Don't think of it as being outnumbered and surrounded, think of it as a really low risk of ammunition wastage. When placing cuffs on a suspect, you will always close them to the point that it takes half an hour to back them up so blood can circulate. The one time you wake up late and don't have time to iron your uniform is the one time the chief comes to roll call. Your transmission will work just fine, until you get into a chase. The only time Chief's come out from behind their desk is to overreact! After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done. You will only get a citizen complaint when your video camera or tape recorder is broken. Your cars AM/FM radio will only go out when you have had only 4 hours of sleep before your shift. Your radar will only malfunction when you see a car you know is going over 100 MPH You will always get a "Hot" call at the same moment you realize your weapon is still in the gun locker back at the jail. For every good deed done there is a Lawyer to undo it. The one time you order that expensive lunch is the only time you are told by dispatch to break for a hot call, right after the food is served of course The one unimportant fact that you forget to record at a crime scene will be the one that the defense cross examine you about and that the prosecutor tells you is "Crucial to this case!" Out of 10 traffic stops, the violator you gave a warning to instead of a citation is the one who file a personnel complaint against you. After taking a sign language course, you use sign to a deaf driver and citizen’s call the station to complain about seeing you doing strange things and touching yourself on a traffic stop. The intensity and number of war stories told is inversely proportional to the street experience of the storyteller. Anyone who doesn't notice an unmarked car is probably not doing anything illegal anyway. Anyone opting for a foot chase is always carrying at least 20 pounds less than you are. Your time is always less important than the time of the judge and prosecutor. Equipment always fails at the most inopportune time. Usually right after you've checked to make sure it's working. When a cop does something right, no one remembers; When a cop does something wrong, no one forgets. The "big" pay raise will always come next year. One day YOU will know why your FTO was so picky and cranky. No matter how quiet the radio has been, an emergency call will be dispatched in your beat just after you stop your first car of the night. You only lock yourself out of the squad car, when your portable radio is not working. On the day you make the felony arrest of your career, just as the news mini cams arrive your zipper will break. No good deed goes unpunished The only time there is paper in the dispenser at the station is when you don't need it. When you come to the last form in the file, only you will burn copies of it. Departmental Intelligence Units....aren't very. The higher the oath, the bigger the lie...except when your Sergeant is telling the story. Just when you get a nice brand new squad car, the first offender you pick up is going to be a drunk that will get sick in the car. The only consistent thing about any law enforcement agency will be its inconsistency. When you get old, with lots of experience, and need the peace and quiet, they will pair you up with a rookie! The first bad-guy your trainee decides to tick off will have at least three black belts in three different martial arts. What is said in the patrol car stays in the patrol car. Unless it was said in the patrol car. There is a code of silence in law enforcement. Until Internal Affairs, the news media, and lawyers get involved. Looking good in uniform more than compensates for incompetence. When you are late for work and in a hurry to iron your uniform shirt, the power system will fail suddenly. The time you need to transmit on the radio comes immediately after you have taken a big bite of your lunch Rookies will ask the Dispatcher "Do we have a clear channel?" on the radio only when you are clearing a house on an alarm call!! You only need assistance in a hurry when you are in the part of town your radio doesn't work in. Your portable radio will only malfunction when you have accidentally set off your car horn, which remains stuck, as you follow the Hell's Angels down the freeway on your way to work Your alarm clock is guaranteed to break, making you late for work, the day after you receive a department-wide memo regarding attendance policy and punishments. The only car you let go with a warning ticket will be stopped ten minutes later and the driver arrested for transporting the largest quantity of illegal drug in your counties history. If the guy you pull over for speeding says he was going so fast because he has diarrhea, and for one reason or another you have to put him in the patrol car, it will turn out he wasn't kidding Your department will always be over budget, and your equipment will always be older than you Never date Murphy’s' daughter, especially when Murphy is the Chief A police officer who wields a baton or other impact weapon in a fight is more likely to strike another cop then a criminal

THE TRUTH ABOUT COPS As you read the following excerpt from an unknown author keep in mind the following statistics: * We have roughly 700,000 Police officers in the US who create a fine blue line between peace and chaos for hundreds of millions of US citizens. * 200 of these officers are killed in the line of duty each year, a number that is rising. * Another 250 officers were shot but saved by ballistics (bullet proof) vests. * 200,000 police officers are criminally assaulted each year. * 15,000 of these officers require hospitalization each year. * 300 police officers commit suicide each year as a direct result of the job. A POLICEMAN IS.... A policeman is a composite of what all men are a mingling of saint and sinner, dust and deity. Cold statistics wave the fan over the stinkers, underscoring instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are news. What they REALLY mean is cops are exceptional, unusual -- not commonplace. Buried under the froth is the fact that less than one half of one percent of policemen disgrace the uniform. That's a better average than among the clergymen. He is of all men, one of the most needed, yet most unwanted. A strangely nameless creature that is "sir" to his face, and "pig" to his back. In an instant he must make decisions which require months for a lawyer. If he hurries, he is careless, deliberate, and lazy. He must be first to an accident, infallible with diagnoses. He must be able to restart breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and above all be sure the victim goes home without a limp, or expect to be sued. The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run and shoot where it doesn't hurt. He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform, or being brutal. If he gets hit he's a coward, if he hits you he's a bully, if he's friendly he's a flirt, if not he's a grouch. A policeman must know everything and not tell. He must know where sin is yet not partake. A policeman is a minister ... social worker ...diplomat ... tough guy ... and a shoulder to cry on. The acting father of a society that offers little support to him in return. The policeman must from a single human hair, describe the crime, the weapon, and the criminal, and tell you where he is hiding. If he catches the crook he got lucky, if not a dunce. If he gets promoted he has political clout, if not a dullard. He runs files and writes reports until his eyes ache to build a case against a dangerous felon, who will get dealed out by a shameless lawyer, or an honorable judge who isn't. He also is a genius, for he somehow feeds a family on a cop's salary. A token reminder of society’s shameful unwillingness to pay him half of what he's worth.

THE YOUNG MAN CAME FORWARD, HIS FACE DRAWN AND SAD AND HE HELD OUT HIS HAND, DISPLAYING HIS BADGE. THE OLD CHIEF ROCKED SLOWLY AND PUT HIS HAND IN HIS LAP AND SHOOK HIS HEAD GENTLY, AND SAID "WHAT IS THIS CRAP?" THE YOUNG COP SNIFFED, AND FROM HIS EYES HE WIPED A TEAR, "I'VE GIVEN YOU MY BEST FOR ALMOST ONE YEAR. BUT I MAKE NO DIFFERENCE, AS I ONCE THOUGHT I COULD, THERE IS FAR MORE EVIL OUT THERE, THAN IS GOOD." THE OLD CHIEF STARED UP INTO THE YOUNG ROOKIES EYES AND TRIED TO RECALL SOMETHING CLEVER AND WISE "TELL ME," HE SAID, TO THE ONCE EAGER YOUNG COP "HOW MANY DUI'S HAVE YOU POPPED?" "FORTY TWO" THE ROOKIE SAID WITH GREAT PRIDE. "AND HAD YOU NOT, HOW MANY MORE WOULD HAVE DIED? IT IS NOT HOW MANY ARRESTS, NOW IS IT??? IT IS HOW MANY LESS ACCIDENT SCENES YOU MUST VISIT??" THE KID HUNG HIS HEAD, AND FLEXED HIS STRONG HANDS, "BUT SIR, HE SAID, SOFTLY, "YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.WE'RE GREATLY OUTNUMBERED, THE DRUGS ARE AT THE WORST, THE SCHOOLS ARE LIKE HELL AND THE STREETS, AND THEY ARE CURSED." "DEALERS BREED LIKE ROACHES. ON THE KIDS, THEY ALL PREY, AND EVEN WHEN ARRESTED, THEY ARE OUT THE NEXT DAY." THE OLD CHIEF SET HIS JAW, AND TAPPED A RED FINGER, AND ON THE YOUNG COP, HIS EYES SADLY LINGERED. "IF ONE LITTLE KID CANNOT GET CONNECTED, IF ONE PREGNANT JUNKIE FINDS THE STRENGTH TO REJECT IT, IF ONE LOUSY ADDICT DECIDES HE CAN BEAT IT, IF ONE CRACK-HEAD IN A MILLION SAYS I JUST DO NOT NEED IT.. THEN YOU HAVE REMOVED HIS GREATEST TEMPTATION, IF ONLY FOR A NIGHT, IT MIGHT BE HIS SALVATION, WARS ARE NOT WON BY THOSE WHO SAY: SCREW IT. THEY ARE WON BY THE MEN WHO DECIDE THEY CAN DO IT. THE ROOKIE PULLED UP AN OLD WOODEN CHAIR AND RUNNING A HAND THROUGH HIS STOCK OF BROWN HAIR. ."BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN AND THE POOR BATTERED WIVES? WHY CAN'T WE STOP IT, AND FIX ALL THOSE LIVES?" "EACH TIME YOU SET A FOOT IN THAT SAME RUN DOWN HOUSE EACH TIME YOU GO BACK TO BUST THAT SAME DIRTY LOUSE, FOR THE CHILDREN AND THE WIFE, THE VIOLENCE HAS CEASED, IF ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS, YOU OFFER THEM PEACE." "YOU CAN NOT DICTATE THEIR SAD CHOSEN PATH, YOU CANNOT STOP HIS BOOZE-LADEN WRATH, YOU CAN'T PACK THEIR BELONGINGS AND CART THEM AWAY BUT YOU CAN PREVENT MURDER FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY." "BUT SIR," HE SAID, HIS HEART HEAVY LIKE LEAD, "I KNOW THERE ARE DIRT BAGS WHO I WISH WERE DEAD, BUT THE PUBLIC, THE PRESS, THE POLITICIANS FLING MUD, AND WHO SAYS THANK YOU, WHEN WE SHED SOME BLOOD?" THE CHIEF PURSED HIS LIPS, HIS ANSWER UNKNOWN FOR HE KNEW IT WAS THE PAIN THAT HURT TO THE BONE, "THERE'S NO EASY ANSWERS FOR THE ACHES THAT YOU FEEL, BUT APPRECIATION AND PRAISE AREN'T PART OF THE DEAL." "THE RESPECT, GRATITUDE AND ADMIRATION, TOO WILL NOT COME FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CAN NOT DO WHAT WE DO.... YOU ASK FOR A SENSE OF HONOR AND PRIDE MY ADVICE, MY SON, IS TO LOOK DEEP DOWN INSIDE." THE YOUNG COP STARED DOWN AT THE BADGE IN HIS HAND AND HE KNEW HE WOULD NOT RESIGN AS HE PLANNED, FOR HE SAW THE BADGE NOW AS NOT JUST SOMETHING HE DOES, IT WAS NOT JUST A SYMBOL...IT WAS WHAT HE WAS.

When the Lord was creating Police Officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order? A Police Officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform. "He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testifies in court the next day.He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems, "said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an Officer has to have." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks: "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows.) Another pair here in the side of his head for his partner's safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say: "You'll be all right ma'am." (When he knows it isn't so.) "Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck." The angel circled the model of the police officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked. "You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop... and still, it keeps its sense of humor." "This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects." Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the police officer. "There's a leak, "she pronounced.I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear." "What's the tear for?" asked the angel. "It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, and for justice." "You're a genius," said the angel. The Lord looked it there," he said. Somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.

1. Bring a gun. Preferably bring at least two guns. Bring all your friends who have guns. 2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap, life is expensive. 3. Only hits count, the only thing worse than a mis is a slow miss. 4. If your shooting stance is good, your probably not moving fast enough or using cover/concealment correctly. 5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend.(Lateral and diagonal movement is preferred.) 6. If you can choose what to bring to a gun fight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun. 7. In ten years no one will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics, only who survived. 8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading and running. 9. Accuracy is relative: Most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "Pucker Factor" than inherent accuracy of the gun. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket. 10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it becasue it is empty. 11. Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 12. Have a plan. 13. Have a back up plan, because the first one wont work. 14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 15. Flank the enemy whenever possible, protect yours. 16. DO NOT drop your guard. 17. ALWAYS tactically reload and scan 360 degrees. 18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. ( In God we trust. Everybody else can keep their hands where I can see them.) 19. Decide to be aggressive enough, quick enough. 20. The faster you finish the fight the less shot you will be. 21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill EVERYONE you meet. 22. Be courteous to everyone. Friendly to no one. 23. Your number one option to Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation. 24. The only calibers that count in a gunfight start with 4.