Monday, January 15, 2007
My Aphithany
Current mood: accomplished
ok i know it is like one in the morning and i have been at work all damn day and i should be in bed right now but i have been pondering something lately. i think i have had an ipithany(sp?) but i am twenty years old and soon to be twenty one i have a child and i have seen alot for someone of my tender age. Thanks to one of my very dear friends Amanda who first brought this to my attention i have been chewing on this thought for a while and it has really evolved into something. We ALL have our young and stupid days...one night stands, sex with someone who we THINK is mr or mrs right but really they are just mr Right Now. What ever happen to chivary? Loyalty? and trust? there was a day when the person you lost your virginity to was probably your husband or wife and it was you wedding night. That was your one and only you were both imaculate and free of being tainted so to say. When someone ask me what is the biggest display of love i have a simple answer. you know the old couples you see in the movies who are like 80 and snuggled up or the elderly couple in the local diner who still holds hands and is all googly eyed at each other and only each other and when they go to leave the husband opens the doors for his lady and kisses her sweetly as she gets into the car. this is what i want one day. that s what love is. You cant love someone till you are there very best friend and it isnt something that can be forced it grows and molds itself into something niether can control. Nowadays we will meet someone at a party or off of myspace or at work go on 2 or three dates and maybe one if the drink are strong enough and jump into bed with them. people this is rediculous. Sex isnt suppose to just be sex it is suppose to the the most intamite and soul binding thing that two people can do....it is suppose to mean so much more than what i could ever describe. why has america ....the world became so damn easy. you have guys that expect Pussy within the first week. you have your exes that call you up wanting to just hangout...your thinking ok friends...not friends with benefits.....friends hangout and chill no hanky panky but then when he comes on to you and you tell him no he is so forceful to the point you feel like it is getting way out of hand when you tell him to leave he throws a fit like a two year old.this is ridiculous guys. i mean i know us girls dont always choose the knights in shining armor but suppodely you had feelings for this chick at one time and now you cant even respect the simple wish of her that you keep you dick in you pants and not feel her up five minutes after you walk in the door.
I am in no way saying all guys are like this...hell some women are like this .It should be just sex...it should be making love. if you want to just get your jolly on girls...go get you a damn toy....and guys go get some lotion and go for it... atleast then you dont have to worry about the consciquences of nprotected sex....and even if it is protected nothing and i mean nothing is a 100% I am probably not shocking anyone when I say, loud and clear, that I most certainly believe there is a difference between having sex and making love. What may come as a surprise, however, is that I don't think the difference has to do with a person's feelings toward his or her partner. But i dont believe in just jumoing in the bed with someone you have just met either. I have had fast, furious, rumble-tumble sex with people I've been deeply in love with, and made sweet, soul-singing love with people I've only liked, if that. Impossible, you say? Preposterous, you claim? I don't think so.Having sex is about fun and feral passion, about games and a go-go attitude. It's about getting your rocks off. There's something selfish (as in self-focused) about simply having sex: It usually involves figuring out how to maximize your pleasure which often means maximizing your partner's ga-ga-ness. Making love, on the other hand, is about taking stock of and cherishing another person. It's about connecting and communicating tenderness, respect and affection. It's New Age-y, in a good way. It's about showing a fellow human that he or she is a unique, gorgeous, beautiful gem by caressing, kissing and, most importantly, gazing into that person's eyes, aka the windows to the soul. When I make love, I want more than anything to show my partner how appreciative I am of him at that very moment; whether or not I'm sexually satisfied is of secondary importancNow that I've gotten all deep and mushy, let me leave you with a more mundane observation. It's impossible to "make love" after two or three margaritas, even if you're head over heels with the person you're in bed with. the is lust and there is love. lust is instantly or atleast it can be love is like an oak tree its seed gets planted and over years it grows into a beautiful everlasting oak tree that kids will climb in and little squirrels hide there nuts in. If the day ever comes and i get married....and i will make for damn sure it is something i am certain of i will only do it one time. i understand shit happens and i dont believe you should stay in a marrige just because it is the christian thing to do but if i ever make it to the marrige thing and i get a divorce that it.....i might have a domestic partner and be in a long term commited relatioship but i will only walk down that isle once. marrige is a scared union just like making love and as much as i would love to be a virgin for the man i marry im not but it dosent mean i can jsut throw myself around to every john that buys me a drink and says i beautiful. and i understand this might frustrate some guys but oh well these are my beliefs and it may have taken me longer than it should had to figure it out but thats what it is.
