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CANDIE FE2 Nikolai's blog: "I Wish"

created on 06/03/2013  |  http://fubar.com/i-wish/b354456

My 1 Wish

How I so wish I could have been what you wanted. I wasn't born beauiful. Society judges me. I have hated myself for many years. I so wish I could go back in my life and chnge a few things. I would be born skinny and beautiful. I lie to myself and say it doesn't matter but it does. I lie to myself and say everything will be ok, but it's not. I have tried to change my ways. But thats hard to do after so many years. I havent had anyone who ever took the time to help me change. A true friend is a friend until the end. And that is what I am to anyone who needs a good friend. But I also have feelings. I let my feelings get in the way. And I knew better. But helll I cant tell my heart how to feel. I will give you a lifetime as my friend. And a friend you shall be. No more no less. No matter how my heart breaks. And all the pain I feel inside. But I will prevail. I refuse to let myself fall ever again. Pick myself up. Move on. I will look forward to our talks. When they happen. And the time we spend together. I ill cherish our time. Like it's the last time. All the things I wished for are now gone. But tomorrow is a new day. A new beginning. All I ask is you just dont forget about me. Remember I'm here. As I sit and wait. I'm so sorry I couldn't be on that bus. And I'm so sorry I couldn't be what you wanted and are seeking. But you will find it. And i shall to. I will keep you as close to my heart as possible. And never let you go. Remember that. I will be here whenever you need to talk. Good Bad, or Indifferent. Just like you were for me.

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