Lady Beach Bum aka Dreamer's blog: "Musings"

The breeze blows through my hair As I sit and watch and wait. The sun kisses my cheeks. The waters stir the restlessness in my heart. The dreams live on despite the storms that rage in their season. I find comfort on the battered shore. The waves toss and turn and leave their treasures. Some treasures intact, some broken. Life is like that. The sun rises and brings us pleasure. The sun sets and leaves its glorious memory. People are like that. The seagulls cry their greedy song. The children sing with happy laughter. The pelicans fly in constant search over the waters. The hunters and the hunted. Never-ending horror and bliss. I like it like that. You may see what I see. You may feel what I feel. Your thoughts are different than mine. Your dreams go in different directions. My memories are mine alone. I like it like that.

Don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Fall down and mourn For the mothers with empty arms And the children without mothers. This is a sad day for many Who are overlooked and crying Dying inside while others live and laugh It is sad because we are selfish And pretend there is no pain. Don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day Because my reason to celebrate Was ripped from my life And now the joy is gone. If you try to find me I will be gone Hiding from the reality Denying the day Drowning in numbness. Don't wish me a Happy Mother's Day The wishes will be met with silence And I will turn away so you can't see my tears.

I wish the rain would pour down Then I could let the tears fall I put on a brave face Smile and swallow the pain. I dreamed last night That I was holding you in my arms smiling blue eyed, blond hair little girl I saw your joy and felt your love. I woke up with empty arms Wondering where you were Then I remembered, And I felt the pain suffocate. My heart pounds out silent screams That choke in my throat I remain silent and anger wells drowning out your face. This day I am alone I have never known aloneness like this It is like a parasite That devours what I had become. Now nothing matters No joy can be found I try to run and escape But my shackles bind me to you. I am weak now Exhausted and drained The will that keeps me going Fades with each dreary day. Nothing more matters One day slips into the next My arms are still empty My exsistance still in question. I pray the pain will fade but my pleas are met with silence See this smiling face It is a wall that is beginning to crumble.