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Why I'm Not Here

Well, I wanted to just write a note and let you people know what I've been up to. Not much...LOL. But, I did go back to work on Aug. 6th (I'm a teacher....gets earlier every year). So, that means I'm not here during the day. I also am not getting online much at night as I am exhausted and not used to the routine yet. So, if you've been wondering where I am, that is it. Of course if you want to message me, that's great...but I thought I'd let you all know that my IM name at yahoo is tweetynole813 if you care to add me. I am always a message away :) And now back to your regularly scheduled programming....
So I was just browsing the pics of people using the "I'm Bored" method. I see so many of those webcam pics from above with either the woman looking up to make her eyes look bigger or the camera looking down her bra/top to show her cleavage (which head on probably isn't that great) that it's getting irritating. Years ago I had the same reaction (and still do) whenever I see a "Glamour Shot"). Ugh. Just be yourself....sheesh. While I'm bitching, I might as well throw this in here too. If you have a username with "69" in it, it's annoying. Frankly, anyone who DOESN'T like that position is weird, so why broadcast that you do? Unless of course you were BORN in 1969. Then I forgive you :)
Okay. So gone are the days when I could throw caution to the wind and conduct myself like there could be no tomorrow. I was single. And I was young. And I had no kids. Now, I am middle-aged (or so they say). I will soon be *gasp* 45 years old. How sad. I don't FEEL 45. I don't even think I look it. I get hit on by men who should be dating my daughter. But she's almost an adult. A sure sign that I am getting OLD. I listen to popular music and like it (sometimes). I don't try to dress like I'm 21...I know my limits. My figure was never built for that even when I WAS 21...LOL. Oh yeah - and when I complain to my mom about getting old, she says "Think how I feel! I have a daughter that's middle aged!" Point taken. As I come to this milestone birthday, I think to myself "Is this it? Is this my existance? Am I to live out the rest of my life wondering where the time went and why I had to be a responsible adult, a good provider, a decent mom, and someone in a profession that is reliable and dependable?" I wanted to be a rock star. I don't see THAT happening now. But I can be just as happy. I can watch my daughter continue to grow up to be the lovely woman she will be. I can take pride in the fact that my students are healthy, happy, and LOVE coming to school each day. I can hold out hope that somewhere, someone is out there for me and that he is looking up at the stars and thinking that maybe his time has passed just like I often do. And then one day, when we least expect it, I will run into him with my car and we won't be able to take our eyes off one another. NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....LOL.

Bitchiness, Part 2

Okay...so in my travels on Cherry Tap I have noticed a few things. Part of this is the teacher in me, and I realize I am opening myself up to some scrutiny but I DON'T CARE!!! 1) I can forgive spelling errors for the most part. I realize that sometimes they are typos. But "their" shows possession. It was THEIR house, their pen, their dog. "They're" is a contraction for THEY ARE. They're going with us to the race. "THERE" refers to a place....Please give me the broom that is over THERE. Now that you know...stop looking ignorant! 2) If I see another picture with "Just Me" written under it I'm going to lose it. It's you or it's not. "Just Me" says to me that you don't think much of yourself. We know it's you. Unless every OTHER pic is NOT you, we don't need to know. If you don't have anything interesting to say under a picture, put NOTHING. 3) Trash and such - Okay, I may piss a few people off, but in this day and age of free computer programs that can crop images, I don't see what the big hairy FUCKING deal is with cropping a pic. We don't need to see the wall behind you with holes in it. We don't need to see your last gf/bf with some comment by you about how you don't know how to cut them out of the pic. We don't need to see your trash, your clothes, your dirty pillow, your stained carpet, your desk with shit all over it, etc. Do you not realize that that makes you look unclean, stupid, a redneck, poor or just like you don't care about yourself? I have a fan behind me but it's summer...LOL. Please feel free to rag on me if you wish. Lots of people do already, but I had to say this stuff or I was going to go nuts. Okay...rant over.
Here is a banned commercial for Renault with Wallace and Grommit (LOVE THEM!). See if you can figure out why it was banned?
Well, on this Fathers Day I find myself being a bit reflective. My Dad passed away 12 years ago of liver disease. He was quite sick, had a transplant, and died anyway. There were many, many things I did wrong in our relationship, but one thing I DID do right was that I made my peace with him before he died. He had been an awful man who was very selfish and treated me terribly, but as he got older he realized what he had done and reached out to me. It was my ex-husband who made me see that harboring ill feelings was just hurting ME in the long run (one of only a handful of good things that he did during our marriage LOL). So I had a good relationship with my father, and he turned out to be the only one in my whole life who never judged me. Probably because he didn't want to be judged himself...who knows. I am just thankful that we were close and I have many fond memories now that he's gone. I miss you, Daddy. I had two step-fathers (yes my family is screwed UP. My parents were married SEVEN times between them). One was a nasty man who was an alcoholic, made terrible comments about my body, and was mentally ill. He was married to my mom for ten years and only when I went off to college and he beat her did she find the strength to get rid of him. He STILL tries today to manipulate me but he's gone from my life. My other step-dad, Ron, was a wonderful man. The kind of guy who would do ANYTHING for you. He had had a hard life (mainly by his own doing) but he never hurt anyone and he loved me unconditionally. He had some issues (had been a drug addict and drank like a fish) and when he got sick, he continued to do it. I pulled away out of necessity as I was seeing him die before my eyes, but I will always remember him fondly and he was the only one in my life who has ever been totally selfless. So, on this Fathers Day, I reflect. No, my dads weren't perfect. I hope they are all at peace. I only hope that my daughter can some day have closure with her dad. He is not what you would call a "model father", if a father at all. He feels that paying child support is enough...and while I am thankful for it, I'd give it up glady if he could for ONCE be a good dad to my girl. My heart aches for her as I remember how it felt to not have that. Unfortunately, all the prodding in the world and the nice or not-so-nice comments to him do not work. So, please let your Dad know how special he is today and every day. One day you will not have them to argue with, roll your eyes at, or shake your head about. And trust me, you will have regrets about the time you have lost.
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