1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright
until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world
end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those
who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
