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As sunday draws near i can feel the tears . the tears sliding down my face .. i can feel the pain of losing her all over again .. finding out the day that she was gone .. there didnt seem much to live for .. i know a part of me died with her .. a part of me got buried with her . 6 feet under ... once those eyes closed for the last time i lost a part of my soul .. and yet life forced me to go on . to go on for my daughter , my brothers and sisters .. and i hurt like nothing you would beleive .. hurt like nothing words can describe .. and the pain is there now .. but ive kept going on .. i was 21 when she died . there were so many things that i wanted to do for her and so many things i wanted to show to her ... so many adventures i i wanted to take with her .. and the day she went away all those dreams ended ... all those dreams washed away .. im a motherless child now .. wandering through my life with out the guidance i would have had from her .. wondering though loike a little girl yet im a woman .. so childlike in my ways .. if only u were still here to hold me to guide me .. to tell me off ... if only you weere still here to be by my side .. if only i could call you .. when things were so bad ... but i can't your not there in person anynmore u died many years ago .. and i stopped being angry cause it stopped me from being able to grow but i cant stop the pain i feel especially on days i know that would mean so much to you .. such as your birthday , mothersday , christamas , easter all the holidays we used to celebrate hurt like a son of a bitch now your not here to share them with me .. or even to tell you about me lather .. but lifes goes on .. and as i struggle through this time .. i remember everything i can .. everything you taught me .. cause now i have a daughter ... and one day maybe shell have one too
