I don't often write these and it hurts when I do, but I often find that by writing it down sometimes helps me to feel better.
I've been chatting with a person for quite a long while now, and I've really gotten used to talking with her. Its great, she sends me a txt in the mornings on my cell to say hi, or we'll banter back and forth while I'm at work texting on our cells. We talk on the phone sometimes also, and I've really begun to care the world for her.
She told me once not too long ago that there are three people she'd trust with her life and that I was one of them. I've always been sincere and honest with her also. Thats what I love about her most
but....
Like most women she's lucked out with some losers in love and she recently ended a 6 month relationship with a sponge. I told her to take some time, relax, be single think about your next steps and jut enjoy some you time and get your head together.
She replied that its difficult that in her entire life she's never been single and that its tough for her not to have a man. She assured me that she won't rush into anything in the upcoming weeks or even month(s)
but....
Two weeks ago she went to the bar and danced, last week she played pool with a guy from dancing and tonight she she emaculated her home so that this guy could come over (late in the evening) to visit for a few hours.
I think she knew I'd be worried so she's been round about in telling me, but I'm nosey so I eventually found out. I'm happy that she's so truthful with me, but I had an anxiety attack tonight when she told me about this guy coming to visit. I think the world of her and I really would do anything to meet her. I know the likelihood of a relationship is slim due to geographical problems, but I at least want to meet her.
I told her tonight that I don't want to loose her. She replied that that won't happen. What she fails to realize is that I thought I was having a heart attack tonight! Yes, I was that upset/hurt. What she fails to realize is that I don't just share my heart with anybody and that its taken alot for me to feel that way for her. What happens if I just decide to walk away?
Ok, this is a mumm
Should I just relax
or
Protect myself from getting hurt (again)
For those of you who chat with me and are upset I'm talking about somebody else, sorry too bad! I have lots of great friends on here and I mean no disrespect to anybody
Hey There Delilah, you do mean a lot to me, more than you realize at times!
