Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.
Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.
What's the cheapest way to get another 50 hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Suzuki.
Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the side stands are down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.
What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.
How do you know you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.
Why don't Harley riders wave at sport bike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.
How do you know the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are working?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile.
What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?
Sturgis!
How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.
How does an engineer show he is deserving of a job at Harley?
He must demonstrate he is capable of designing a device which can successfully turn gasoline into noise and vibration.
Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece of $#!+ would YOU be smiling?
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirt bags.
Why do Harleys have fringes?
So you can tell if they're moving.
How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the canyons.
What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.
What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.
Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.
Where can you find the largest collection of Harley jokes in the world?
On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee
Why do Harley owners love chrome?
Makes the parts easier to find when they fall off.
You know you're a Harley rider if?
1. You're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.
2. You confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws".
3."Water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a wrecker
