Interesting bits and pieces, running through my mind! Just finished perusing a mumm and almost commented - almost, lol.
This mumm was basically about taking pictures of body parts for viewing by friends and family on CT. The question was: would you still take and post pictures of areas that had scars, scars due to an abusive relationship. I suppose it could also apply to any scarring, birth mark, blemish, etc. Would you expose that much of who you are on CT.
Taking the risk to expose yourself, who you really are, physically or emotionally, can be a frightening thing. Your self esteem can take a hit, bigtime, especially here at CT! I suppose that is the reason you frequently find or hear about the fake pics, pics of more attractive and, yeah, younger individuals posted instead of the actual owner of the profile.
I wanted badly to comment on that mumm! Wear those scars proudly, I wanted to say. You have survived and triumphed over that part of your life. You are beautiful for having come through it - this is who you are!! But I hesitated doing that. That is so much easier said than done!
Although some might not realize it from the pics I have posted, lol, I hate photos of myself!! How I look to myself, my mental image if you will, looks nothing like the person I see in the mirror, lmao! The friends that know me well know what grief I put myself through to come up with pictures I consider to look halfway like me. My friend Stacey has a gift for taking really good pics of me, may the God and Goddess bless her, lol! She sees me as a beautiful older woman - and wants to grow up to be just like me, lmao!! My family sees me as Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, Sister, etc., and attractiveness does not enter the equation. I just need to fulfill the function of my role! Ah, to find the balance amongst all these different perspectives! There's the rub, thank you so much Mr. Shakespeare, lol!
I know I'm not the only person struggling with balancing the person I am on the inside looking out, with the person others see looking back at the physical me! I said to one of my dear CT friends and past life companions yesterday, in fact I've said this to several, that we are all so much more than we appear to be from the outside, so much more complex! But snap judgments are made, just on appearances alone, all the time! A little like playing cards with the deck stacked against you, lol.
Maybe this is ending up more of a blog on aging, or perceptions people have of individuals who have lived longer than they have, lol! Most people I come into contact with are amazed that I love to hang with people much younger than myself. I like all kinds of music, loved the Thrash metal last night, lol! Just keep the moshers away from me, lmao!! I love my tattoos and piercings - not your usual Grandmotherly way of thinking, so they say! But there were many last night, younger than myself, whose mouths fell open when I said I loved the music and who just about fell over when Andrea told them I had piercings! And some of the younger women were sneaking glances at me and chuckling, until they realized I was WITH THE BAND!!! (WTF!?)
If you are reading this, you have read my other blogs, so there is no need to say much about what I choose to expose regarding my mental/emotional explorations and adventures!
Maybe that is the thing: that I still choose to take the risks, exposing who I really am, knowing there will always be those that will make the choice not to understand or to really SEE! And that kind of risk-taking is usually associated with the young, lol!
May there be more and more "experienced" men and women, willing to take the risk of exposing who they really are to everyone around them! While I'm making my wish list: may there be less hate, more acceptance, more tolerance, more LOVE!
May you have as much Joy on your Journey as I have had and continue to have on mine!
As the mummers say, it's time I STFU!!!!!!
Love to all!
