One Night Stand
sitting side by side in the dark, so close, almost...
fingers brush an arm, there is the spark, finally...
holding my breath, waiting to see what is next, unexpected...
i know i want you, yet i am not allowed, forbidden...
i have had a taste, ive been wanting more, craving...
our eyes locked, as you pulled me closer, anticipating...
you took my hand in yours, so warm and strong, inviting...
leading me into your room, whispering "its ok", trembling...
waiting so long for this, i can barely speak, excitment...
teasing me with your words, teasing me with your touch, testing...
no resistance, no hesitation, giving in...
lips meeting, clothes falling to the floor, feverishly...
stumbling to the bed, flesh meeting flesh, seduction...
quietening the voice, telling me this is wrong, ingoring...
not caring this time, ive wanted this too much, wreckless...
secret shared, a memory now, fading...
desire flooding me, when i hear your voice now, uncontrollable...
this one night stand, this one time indescretion, unforgettable....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Except for you...
Prick, barely puncturing the surface of me,
I feel the sting of pleasure, knowing what is coming.
The warmth, feels like velvet against my skin, only there is nothing is touching me, except you.
Tumbling thoughts and emotions
A cascading waterfall of feeling, only its caught and numbed before i can fully taste it.
In a matter of seconds, there is nothing. Except you.
Vision is blurred, my mouth is dry.
I cant focus on anything, thoughts are coming and going so fast, i cant keep up.
My mind goes blank, no thoughts or feelings. There is nothing. Except you.
Blinding hot white, almost like a burning snow
Static vision and nervous laughter, just at the thought of you.
Too bad "YOU" dont actually exsist, nothingness in reality, except for you.
Dark and lonesome, youre gone now.
Nothing left except the lingering feelings of the momentary bliss.
Your hot, addictive kiss, starts the yearning. I want nothing, except for you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What has become of me?
Floating in the darkness, feeling nothing
on purpose
I do this to myself, to make it all go away
I like it numb.
I have failed.
I have fallen into this darkness that I do not think I can ever recover from.
I has my heart, my soul, my body and mind.
I cannot live without it.
This addiction has completely consumed me.
I am no longer myself.
I have turned into a horrible person, that even I hate.
No wonder I try to kill myself with each shot.
Will this be the one that does it?
Nope.
Load up a bigger one and make a wish.
That didnt do it either.
Then one day, I woke up from a 4 day binge,
and decided I didnt want to die.
I do want to live.
I want to be the person I used to be.
I want so bad to be the girl that could make jokes,
and write heartfelt poems,
and love to the ends of my fingertips.
Now my arms are bruised, my heart is black.
But the bruises have faded, and my heart is full of hope.
I wish for happiness now, instead of death.
I just hope I am strong enuogh to continue on this wonderful path.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beating Demons
Countless pill bottles, empty.
Wine bottle, knocked over on the floor
Strewn about the table
Mirror with a razor right beside it, whispering
Pipe is staring me in the face
Rig is calling my name
Temptations
Addictions
Self-Medicating
Struggling
Overcoming
Moving on
With one addiction kicked,
And another to deal with in every way,
There is still the one I can’t get enough of,
Antagonizing me everyday.
Forcing my insanity,
Driving my will to carry on.
Broken promises
Too out of it to fulfill them
Tired of this hazed life
Ready for a change
Time to move on and get a grip
Leave this crazy life behind me
Can I get out of it?
Can I beat this monster?
Can I live and be happy, for once not in a drug-induced euphoria?
Can I?
I think I can, this time.
I know I want to so badly.
