Everyone that meets me on here sees me as a sweetheart, kind, great, loving person. But the thing is that there is stuff that ppl don't know about me. The stuff i tend to hide from ppl. Only the real close ppl on here and in my life know these things.
It took a few good ppl on here for me to open up my eyes and start to deal with my demons. B/c if i don't, there just going to drive me more insane and put me in a straight jacket or even worse kill me.
I know everyone has demons, but my demons have been eating me up so much for so many yrs and they've gotten the best of me. I let stuff get to me and bring me down big time. Then i take the stuff out on thee one person i care so much for. The person that holds thee key to my heart. I don't do it on purpose, i do it out of over reacting and not thinking straight. Really what i should be doing is backing off until my mind is set once again to have a decent convo with thee lovely lady that means so much to me. If it wasn't for her, i wouldn't be here today writing this blog. She knows who she is and all i can say i appreciate everything u do for me from the bottom of my heart. I know at times it don't seem that i do, but REALLY i do though.
The part that is in the quotes is something that someone wrote about me and has really only known me for a couple of months now. I would like to share it with everyone on here.
"You're a person true to your word, and I like that about you. You're also a good friend. I know it isn't as good as it can be between us, but just know that I honestly think you're a great person. Here's a little bit of advice I'd like to give you... test people out before you completely let your guard down. Try to think positive, even when you feel like you're all alone in the world and there's nothing good in left life to offer you. Be strong and have self-pride -- part of that is CHOOSING not to let things put you down and keeping yourself from growing to be the best you can be. My grandpa has always told me two things. One, YOU make your own luck in life - NOBODY but you, so it's your job to get the life you've always wanted. It's not going to come to you, you have to fight for it. Then two, you can sit around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can get up and get over it. Anyway, there's one last thing I'd like to tell you, and that is don't push things away. Problems are IMPOSSIBLE to forget, so when you push them away they're only sitting there waiting to be addressed, and growing even bigger. Face it and come to terms with it. You can do it, k? Give yourself a little more credit. :)"
All i can say is this person is brought up by a very loving family and a very wise grandfather too! I'm taking this advice. i just wish i had this advice a few yrs ago. So this way i could've controlled my demons better and faced them head on. Before i let them get the better of me. But really it's never to late to take control of them and deal with them. Which i'm doing. 
Now u can be back with ur dearest husband that u love so much with all ur heart. it has been 6 yrs since u seen him last. but i know he will put his arms u and give u a kiss on ur forehead like he always did to u.
May u look over us and look after the ones that we have lost all ready. Nick and Amber, the great grandchilderen that passed away way b4 there time. may u look after them for now until Donna (Sister) and I get up there to be with them once again.
These candles will burn for u and for the others that we have lost in our family for ever and ever. For every candle that is burning u will see that we r thinking of u and u will never be forgotten ever.
U will always be in our thoughts and our hearts.
We will cherish what u have taught us and what u have gave to us from the upbring that u did on all ur grandchildren and great grandchildren.
These 2 videos where my grandmothers favorite songs to listen too!
