CupCake's blog: "Moooo..oh yea!! lol"

So...I should never let ANYONE close to me ever again. Because everyone hates everyone and then who gets hurt...I do. Woo feels like walking off a cliff? I do. But oh joy oh joy. I CANT FUCKING LEAVE!!!!!!!!! my step mom needs the car so....hmmm..i wonder...should i walk and make myself sick until im almsot dying n the hospital? Seems the best route to go right now with my life going as it is. anyone else wanna slap soemthing new to me? Never let ANYONE in your walls. Not even if you love them with all your being. because both parties end up hurting only you.

Yesterday I had an interview..I had to get a shot before hand..so my arm is still killin me. But I still went to the interview....I had an interview today..I woke up today crying my eyes out because it felt like an eyelash or a pebble was stuck in my eye but nothing was there..we went to the doctor...I have scratches al ove rmy eye. So I'm stuck looking like a fucking pirate!!! I'm ot allowed to be in sunlight..i'm not allowed to watch t.v..I'm not allowed to read..Im kind abreaking that rule but I'm wearing the stupid eye patch over the bad eye....And I STILL went to the interview..I want that job at The YMCA..I want it..I need it...I just..I hate having no job...and things keepi going wrong before the interview but I always go!!! now I have a headache from using my left eye more than what Im used to..I'm not even suppose dot be on her ebut I dont care..Im bored and just...fuck....and someone added me which kinda freake dme out because i thought that person hated my guts...lets just wait to see what happens? Only good hting is I get to see David tomorrow....even though I feel silly with this eye patch...Imma see him...yup yup..i lovers him

HOW?!?!? I mena..thats hella cool but..hahaha..whose giving me points like this?? muwhahaha I have a new favorite song..it's Murder Potion from Razakel..heres the lyrics Murder Potion lyrics-Razakel listen up ya'll I got a lil story to tell straight out of the peirced lips of razakel Since I came out the womb momma knew I wasn't quite right daddy was a minister I was never good enough in his eyes I would stay up late at night with my voodoo dolls and black candles sexing and cursing and casting some evil spells touching myself and fantasize about the devil started sinning left and right so when I die I can burn in hell momma could tell, she got scared and told daddy they pulled me outta my room sat me down and started asking "Why are you so evil and why do you blasphene" "Because I hate your god and I'm possessed you see?" The devil fucks me in my sleep and in my dreams when I orgasm he strangles me and says I'm his wicked queen come here and take a sip of my murder potion feel the effects and put your hate in motion poison in your brains saying gods name in vain I'mma playa, I'm here to stay and I'mma sin every fucking day double double toil and trouble fire burn that cauldron bubble with an eye of a newt and a bowl of a trout I'mma show you what this wicked bich is really all about You can go ahead and point your fingers at me keep in mind i'm that bitch lil girls wanna grow up to be How the fuck am I a bad influence Maybe cuz I practice self-indulgence not abstinence huh? I'm the beginning of a very new breed destroying all the sheep and i still got people asking "Why are you so evil and why do you blasphene?" "Because I hate your god and I'm possessed you see" "The devil fucks me in my sleep and in my dreams" "and when I orgasm he strangles me and says I'm his wicked queen" all I'm saying, is death is inevitable so grab a metal bat and smash in your enemies skull you're only doing the world a small favor Go make a difference instead of waiting for a false savior Come here and take a sip of my murder potion feel the effects and put your hate in motion poison in you brains saying gods name in vain I'mma playa I'm here to stay and I'mma sin every fucking day double double toil and trouble fire burn and cauldron bubble with the eye of a newt and the bowl of a trout I'mma show you what this wicked bitch is really all about -moaning for awhile- -Devil speaking- Your my wicked queen, bitch come here and take a sip of my murder potion feel the effects and put your hate in motion poison in your braisn sayign gods name in vain I'mma playa I'm here to stay and I'mma sin every fucking day double double toil and trouble fire burn and cauldron bubble with the eye of a newt and the bowl of a trout I'mma show you what this wicked bitch is really all about I'mma show you what this wicked bitch is really all about I'mma show you what this wicked bitch is really all about

NO ONE!! NO ONE FUCKING CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARES!! ohwell..I'm done. Over-cooked. Monday, I get to see David and we might hang out with Angel. and more then likely if everything gets situation financially..Angel will be our room-mate. Angel....GAY PROM PRINCE AND OWENS!! muwhahaha...long story. I hold no resentment for anyone.....I wish them the best of lives...even though I know one person who wish I enjoy living getting fucked over...I wish you the best of a life hun...I really do. I wish you can marry the person you love and have a great life. I hope everything turns out right for you and that you never have to endure what some people do. You're fortunate in your life, don't take it for-granted. Best of luck to you. as for Becky....YOUS A KICK-ASS CHICK!! I wish you only the best hun. From what I know of you, you deserve it. I hope you get everything situated and that you'll know what will happen to you. Just remember, theres always a reason to keep trying...and you'll get everything on track one day. I'm sorry everything got fucked up hunny...I really do. Have as many cyber hugs from me and best of luck and my wishes for ya hun. I think David and I should move to alaska....away from people...become eskimos!! Yup yup!!!but then it wont stop me from having internet..and internet causes drama..and heartache..and MAJOR misunderstandings... I wonder if a polar bear would eat my computer...I'd cry....I love my computer. And I bet the cell phone signals suck out there. moo? i had cake!!!!!! woooooooooooooo!! go cake!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh -dances like a party boy- unsa unsa unsa unsa muwhahaha..blargh.

How can you do that to me!!! Mandi....I thought you were my friend...Your brother does NOT need to get involved .....thats what I liked about you at first....you didnt seem snobby. but what the hell is all this?? and just..UGH... Or how about the message you left him? He doesnt get on his cherrytap..I DO!! "i heard you called my girlfriend after you hung up with amber i DONT appreciate you lecturing my girlfriend about living arragments and another thing YOU ARE WHITE SO TALK LIKE YOU ARE i dont appreciate the way you talked to her i hate juggalos enough as it is dont make me hate them more and threaten me all you want i dont care thats all you clowns do anyway and for my girlfriend moving in with you i dont want it so find another clown to move in with you cause shes not and DONT EVER CALL HER AGAIN thanks bye" how could you be so callous...He got fucked over so many times by roommates!! of course he's gunna be paranoid....And she wanted to move in with not just him BUT ME AS WELL!!! And he talks like that because thats how he grew up.... i thought you were my friend....And he doesn't threaten....so he wouldnt go that far..you think you know him????? Just because he's a juggalo???? Him being a juggalo HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!! Thats like your judging him without knowing him.....how come you didnt judge me then?? I'm a juggalette.... It was mine and Becky's idea in the first place for her to move in with us.....I had to ask David.....and david is scared because he doesnt anna e homeless anymore...he doesnt wanna get screwed over anymore. It was MY FUCKING IDEA!!! I don't want to lose you and Becky as friends..I really don't. I really don't have that many friends on my own....and you two are awesome....but I will always back David up. Just as you will always back up Becky or vice versa..I wouldnt expect any less..but don't you dare say he's beneath your family or anything.. beause you just dissrespected me as well... and you do NOT know how bad that hurts.....

Iunno....I have that DAMNED song stuck in my head right now....Ryan got off the plan bout half an hour ago. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! Lemme alone, I've missed my lil brother. I don't give a damn if he's taller then me.....and I still will say this...ANYONE tries to corrupt my lil brother or hurt him or anything....I'LL WHOOP YOUR ASS!!! No touchy my brother. no no no no no no no no no. He's starting real high school next year. I'm so proud of him. He's gunan be an actual sophomore. Not just be in special ed and get a certificate of attendance...he's going to get a diploma...this is the first time in a loooooooooooooooooong time that theres any chance that Ryan will lead a normal life. I'm so happy and proud of him. I know he'll make it...hell..he'll probably be an executive and I'll be working for him later in life. If that happens, atleast I know I wont get screwed over by my boss. He's going through puberty now...so he's actually started getting interested in girls...but he's still behind the power curb...everyone htinks he's cute..and I kn ow it hurts him because he doesnt understand why hes liek the way he is. Or why people see him differently....doesn't bother me any...he IS normal to me...I just want him to someday find someone who wont ridicule him and wo will love him and give him a fmaily because hes told me he wnats a wife and a family..I just hope one day he can have that. But i'll be damned if my lil brother is corrupted right now!! Ryan=Virgin..it's engraved in stone in my head. for the time being....I don't care if he's 18...mentally he's only 12...he'll get there soon enough though..and when he does..I'll be right there to pick on him because I have every right to..being big sister and all..MUWHAHAHAHAHA

So Saturday, I went out to be a human sign twirler to make some extra cash....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....ouch. I got so sick form the head I had to go home early and quit. My shoulders and nose are burnt to high hell...I got bit all over the damned place...and to top it off...my dad laughed at me becuase i looked like a lobster...not because I was sick..(still have the damned headache) but because i looke dlike a loooooooooooooobstteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. And then today...I found out that David is getting kicked out of his apt. because his roommate had to mouth off to the landlord and get them al kicked out. Now he has no where else to stay because people are bitches and all "I dont have anywhere for him"..YOU HAVE A FUCKIN COUCH!!! thats all he needs..he's been nothing but generous to his friends when they needed him..and how do they repay him? They let him live on the streets. So yea, I'mma be major worried about him. On a better note though, my lil brother Ryan flies in wednesday! I miss him!!!!! I get to see him for the sumer before he goes back to school. I'm so proud of him. He got out of life skills on his own and is gunna start regular high school..I knbnow thats gunna be hard for him but I'm positive he can do it and acutally graduate with a diploma. anyways...I've ranted enough and my shoulders are killin me..dman sunburnt...so..tra-la-la-la.... blah.

I hurt. I don't feel good at all. I had two biopsies and an immunization today. I can't recall exactly what the procedure was caleld but I had to have them look INSIDE my cervix. That hurt the worst out of all of it. It felt like they were bursting a water balloon that was so full and it went by slow and just...ow. I miss my buhbahs. He's at work right now. I hate not living with him anymore. My parents kicked him out. So I got so used to hime sleeping with me everynight and just..being here..I liked it. It felt..natural. I love him. I hate the fact that him and my parents don't get along. he makes me so happy and everything. Wow this got emotional..meh..anyways..I guess I'm done ranting...