Monsters...
In the corners of the world I call my own, there are monsters calling to me and disguising themselves as memories...
In one corner this monster called himself uncle and touched me with unloving evil claws like blades ripping away my innocence...
I close my eyes and pray for my mother, my father, God, anyone to save me from the darkness that he brings to my soul...
Sometimes I float out of the body I myself did not know and now is violated to please the beast made of flesh and bone...
I float to places other children live, where thier bodies are still untouched and they live without fear and confusion that wear on my little body...
Places filled with Candyland and rootbeer floates... I return home after a night of terror and pretend I am like the others to save my family from the pain of knowing what they have not seen...
I am visited even to this day on occassion from the memory of this monster on days when it pushes itself up from deep dark place I keep hidden...
In another corner there is a monster called Chris who I once called mine, who took what I would not give in a rage of alcohol and self hatred, peeling my fragile self esteem and dignity from my body and throwing them to the floor whispering to me to tell me he knows I want him...
He shows himself in my inability to love with complete trust and faith... I wait because I am sure the love they show has a price to pay... Never resting, never breathing freely, never feeling safe...
In another corner not really a monster but a man who loved me deeply once and let monsters he battled for our freedom keep him, never to return... He tried to hide himself, the man calling me wife.
Pretending to be the one I vowed to love, shielding himself with alcohol and a familiar face... But this was someone new... No strength, no love outside himself...
Now try to love again, many have tried to show it to me... I fight because I know no other way... I need, I want light, love, strong arms to show me another way... Out of the dark corners, away from the monsters, and into life before it is too late...
