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What are you waiting for?

For all you ladies who depend on your looks to get you by in life, you better get a personality... FAST!!!

Time goes by so fast in life.......
When you are young you can't wait to get older. You think It's taking forever. You and your friends feel like you'll never get there..............


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When you FINALLY get there, your bodies are kickin, your ass is smoking hot!!! You think, I'm fucking BEAUTIFUL! I can be a bitch to anyone I want and they will love me anyway AND I'll get what I want. Your friends are all there with you. You are at the high point of your life..............

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This is the time where instead of being stuck on yourself and how hot you are. You should develop a personality. This is where time goes by faster then a speeding train.. If you relied on your looks you are going to end up single and unhappy with just memories of when you were "IT" looks don't last forever. But hey you will still have your friends..............

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ENJOY GETTING OLDER LADIES. MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE!!!!

YOU CAN'T LIE TO GOD

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker.. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.
Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3:
Dear God:
I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol
Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," her mother said.
Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.

LETTER 4:
I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE. Signed, YOU KNOW WHO




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SHORT BUS PARKING ONLY!!!!

Well as everyone knows, Joker got drunk and drove all the Short Buses in the ocean :( I stayed with them (I couldn't leave them there by themselves). All this time I spent getting them out. After almost a month and $500,000 later they are back on shore and in route to be parked on my page until we can use them again :D. It will give me some time to clean them out (boy they are nasty inside) not from being in the ocean. Those short busers are a bunch of slobs.
Jokers beer cans all over by the drivers seat, shady writing all over the place with Lacey's lipstick and Harley's sex toys stuffed in every seat. Oh I can't forget Ancient1's collection of empty condom wrappers. (I wonder what he did with all those things. There had to be thousands :s) No wonder Harley, Alycat, witchie, lacey and the other women tried squeezing in the back seat with him. DAMN! I'm not cleaning that seat :O. If anyone wants to help clean, grab a mop! I could use the help :D After were done each day we go and hang in the VIPER PIT LOUNGE and listen to some good tunes and get wasted (did I say the short busers are a bunch of alcoholics) Well we will see you in the lounge and I'll let you know when the buses are cleaned up :D
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Click the picture below to talk to all the short buser's in the VIPER PIT lounge
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I was in a check out line at Wal-Mart, buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Under the circumstances, it is really tough to pass on such an intelligent question as that one.

I was feeling a bit crabby, so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was buying it, hook line and sinker. I told her it was an easy, inexpensive diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me

I got in a Car Accident

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"
. . . and that's when the fight started
SCAM!!! PLEASE don't let this happen to you! "Protect your friends tell them before they become victims too"

A "Heads Up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.
Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.
They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.
It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or Lowe's.
You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing.
Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other o ne steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, & 24th. Also November 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, and very likely this coming weekend.
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