Gr3mlin's blog: "missing it all"

Walking around looking for a way But no one tells me which way to go I'm caught up in a world Stuck in a maze Where yes men could easily be known I ask them no questions They give me no answers Following the wise But they're walking in pampers Give me a cigarette Smoking my cancer Drink the pain away But I still have no answers I'm lost on a road But survival is a must Don't know who I can trust I'm livin in a rush I don't understand the fuss My brain is bout to bust I lost my mind and still haven't found it I used to be so well-rounded But now I tiptoe on hell's boundaries Trapped in a maze And even with Navigation I'm lost on a road I... I... I don't know what's wrong with me But... but I'm a keep that pain with me I'm makin this money Just to go spend it Livin the good life Hope nobody ends it But who are you kidding? Ay who are you lying to? You know if they want you Best believe they will find you

Ok some of you read my blogs from this morning.. Well 2 of my friends calmed me down this afternoon, and well im back to my in the right mind frame so to speak. They pointed out that I cant go back on what ive already set into motion. So this is for one person call me u have the number so Zac & Skrew can bring you the trucks so u can move everything and go get your mom from Pheonix.. and just to let you know I'm sorry for putting all this shit online..But I needed to vent somewhere and Ill get another job its not a big deal and I'd lose another one in a heart beat for you and Memphis and I hope you know that.....Please call me soon Gremin

You know this is the first time since I got to Vegas that I have actually wanted to drink,and in the mood I'm in it's possible that a bottle of Jager might be in my near future... Just for some reason I feel like drinking nothing else is going right and I just might as well go have some "fun" even though i really wont be because by the time I get to the bottom of that bottle reality will most likely set in...I'm FUCKED all over again..I'm alone in this house and its been that way since I moved to Vegas,and it's my dumb ass that thought that would change....I think I'm done ranting for one day...But you never know.... Gremlin

I don't know whats going on but something isn't right.2 nights ago i was going to see 2 very special people that i haven't seen in a while..I mean i pulled a lot of strings to get over to that side of town to. Yet when i got there they were no where to be found... They stopped anwsering there phone it went strait to voice mail..And to make things even worse i lost my job to go over there... as i was on the way my boss called me and said to get my ass to work,and i pretty much blew him off,after he said my job depended on me showing up that night even though i had the night off...I was so happy that I would be seeing 2 of the most important people in the world and i didnt even get to see them like i said i was fucked 4 ways from sunday...now not only am I pissed and hurt, but i lost a job where i was making almost $3500 every 2 weeks...So this is the last time I will be online for a while.. I'm gonna be a hermit crab for a while all that I'm gonna do is look for another job and sleep...Once I find another job it's literally gonna be all work no play and its gonna stay that way for quite a while...So take care everyone I might pop in every once in a while but dont count on it.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gremlin

I guess its true what they say u never know what u have till u lose it...and man did i lose it..and now im losing my mind.. the 2 best things in my life have been gone for almost 5 months and i swear these months have been hard..ive done alot of thinking and even more crying..man i swear i would give anything to have back what i had 5 months ago...but it looks like im fucked on that... ive wondered for the past couple of weeks what life would be like today if i would have done some things alot different....but ill never know so all i do is sit in my apartment,work, and stare at pics of times past and wish i could turn back the hands of time.....i miss both of u.... forever urs Gremlin (since u gave me the name,ill never stop using it)