The person I feel I am on the inside is not who I see when I look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror I see all my flaws and the reasons why they don't match. Reminders of more painful times are the first obviously visible thing to me. I see it in my silhouette, I see it in the way I move, I see it on my skin. I see the years that have slipped passed me while I was involuntarily sedentary. I see age in my skin, my hair, my eyes. I see the evidence of the children I bore, the life I created. I see a limited person. I see a person I do not recognize. I see a trapped soul.
The person I look for in the mirror is young and vibrant. The person I look for is carefree, adventurous, spontaneous. Without physical or potential limitations. I look for the person I feel wants to conquer the world. A person who would climb mountains just to watch the sun setting behind the world. A person who would jump out of a perfectly good airplane and parachute thru the heavens just for the thrill of it. A person who would backpack and camp thru the thickest of forests just to enjoy nature.
I know if the two ever matched there is one thing that would remain the same, who I am. That is never ending, never changing. My essence and soul would remain the same, my heart would remain the same.
