Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial
flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the
man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently,:
in a loud voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married,
two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a
tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired.
Married, two sons, both Judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to
introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims,
"Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired
Never married, two sons, both Admirals.
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down
a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys,
"Yours is."
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel
was sitt ing at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up
the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass
along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your
good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently
impressed the young enlisted man, he asked,
"What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied,
"I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!
Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
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An Air Fo rce chief master sergeant and a general were sitting
in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with
their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave
to slap on their faces The general shouted, "Hey, don't put
that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The sergeant turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put
it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse
smells like."
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman,
"I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be
waiting for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy,
I'm never going to stand in line again!"
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