BLACKMOONbellas lullaby U R MY LIFE NOW's blog: "miles away!!!"

I HAVE COME TO MY OWN CONCLUSION THAT HATE IS ALL AROUND ME!! THE MORE I TRY TO BE A PERSON IM REALLY NOT MAKES IT BETTER. I REALLY HAVE LIKED SOMEONE FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS COME TO FIND OUT IS NOTHING AS I HAVE SEEN IN MY MIND. FRUSTRATING. I TRUELY BELIEVE THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED SO MUCH TO HAVE IS ALL IN MY MIND AN AT THE PRINCES PALACE WHERE CINDERELLA LIVES. I KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE THINK THIS EXIST, BUT IM JUST TRYIN TO VENT AN GET PAST THE FAIRYTALE WORLD I HAVE LIVED IN FOR SO LONG. MUSIC REALLY IS MY BOYFREIND I SHOULD JUST STAY WITH THAT HURTING DOES NOT EXIST THERE. AN I TEND TO DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS WITH IT. I DONT FEEL PRESSURED, AN I TRUST MUSIC NOT TO HURT ME OR RUN AWAY. MEN ON THE OTHER HAND ARE REALLY GOOD AT BOTH OF THEM. IM TIRED OF LOOKING, MY HEART IS ALWAYS BROKE, PAST THE POINT OF ANY FIXING. THIS PERSON HAS ALWAYS KNOWN HOW I HAVE FELT. YET I STILL LET MYSELF BE HURT. SO I LET GO NOW. IM NOT MEANT TO BE WITH ANYONE.. SO IM NOT WORTHY. REJECTION IS THE GREATEST APHRODESAC!!! MUSIC GETS ME THROUGH ANYTHING AN I WILL HAVE THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I NEED NOTHING ELES OR WILL I ASK FOR IT.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST KNOW WHEN TO LIVE AN BE HAPPY AN OTHER TIMES YOU FEEL SAD, REJECTED, AN UN LOVED. THOSE ARE THE LIGHT TIMES BEFORE THE DARKNESS.I HAVE RUN ACCROSS MANY DAY SO AS THESE. WONDERING WHEN IT COULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER OF WORSE. LIFE HANDS OUT CURVES MOST EVERYDAY. MAKING YOU CHOOSE TO CATCH THE CURVE OR LET IT BY. ONE PERTICULAR TRUE BALANCE OF LIGHT AN DARKNESS EXCIST IN MY LIFE. AN TO ANOTHER I AM BOUND BY TRUST, AN WISDOM.. TO YOU MY DEDICATED TRUE FREIND. THIS I WRITE FOR YOU!! YOU HAVE SEEN ME CRY, BE HURT, BE TORN BY THE HANDS OF THE ONES I HAVE TRUSTED TO BE REAL, STRONG, AN TRUE... ONLY IF FACINATION WAS A TRUE FEELING INSTEAD OF A ACTION. HOW DO WE DEFINE WHAT WE FEEL INSIDE TO BE A LIGHT AN NOT A DARKNESS LOOKING BACK AT US AS A REAL MAN...OR IS THERE TO BE SUCH A THING AS A REAL MAN... HMMMM NO ANSWER THERE. TO HOLD ALL WE HAVE FOR AS LONG AS WE HAVE IS MASSIVE TRAUMA. A NEW YEAR COMES LETS VOW TO HELP ONE ANOTHER TO CONNECT AN STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT WE CAN REALLY SEE TO BE REAL.WE HAVE BOTH BEEN WALKING TOWARDS THE WRONG DOOR. LETS START THIS TIME FROM THE DARKNESS TOWARDS THE TRUE, REAL, WARM, FAMILAR LIGHTTHAT CALLS US HOME......REMEMBER THE 3 MOONS ARE BOUND TO ETURNITY OF TRUST,FAITH, AN HOPE. I DEDCATE THIS BLOG TO THE THREE MOONS... LOVE YOU BOTH. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE M LIGHT I WALK TOWARDS EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. EVEN THOUGH WHAT IS BEING SEARCHED FOR WILL NEVER EXIST. I QUIT WALKING.