Hi ya Princess, like to see my longsword in action?
Every second of every hour of every day is like a thousand knives of fire stabbing me in the heart.
I long for thee incessantly, so much that mine sorrow seems without surcease. My alliteration is small comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes. I crave the comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the dark So, like you wanna fuck?
You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?
I like the cut of your jib.
If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle.
Wizard: You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed.
Thy breastplate is wondrous!
Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?
Dost thou practice safe hex?
Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers' floor.
I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke?
Wench: What's that sound? Knight: That's just the sound of my chain-mail drawers expanding.
Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!
Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?"
You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!
Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?
Don't believe the rumors you heard about me . . . the Bubonic plague didn't affect the important parts.
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.
I've been a very naughty, naughty knight!
A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.
I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!
Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?
I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?
My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.
What a fine gown you wear, my lady. Perchance couldst I talk you out of it?
I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?
You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down.
I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady.
What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, lass?
Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the land.
You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.
Wanna polish my pike?
Hello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook!
My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice? For I may surely see myself within their folds.
Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple?
May I show you a fascinating Saracaen ritual I learned while hiding in a harem after the Battle of Hattin?
A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight would be pure misery.
Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.
I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.
Mayest I hose down your doublet?
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
They don't call me Lance-a-lot for nothing, you know.
My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched!
