MasterBlack's blog: "Metaphysical Musings"

1. Even the Stars Look Lonesome - Maya Angelou 2. A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving 3. Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein 4. The Lords of Discipline - Pat Conroy 5. Watchmen - Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons 6. Childhood's End - Arthur C. Clarke 7. Autobiography of Malcolm X 8. A Bed By the Window - M. Scott Peck 9. There's Treasure Everywhere (Calvin & Hobbes) - Bill Watterson 10. Understanding Comics (the Hidden Art) - Scott McCloud

When I was younger, my Father (who is now deceased) broke camp and left my life. While I resented him for it, I was looked after/taken care of/taught the ways of the world and the beautiful mysteries of women by other Blackmen who filled that void. So you can say that I am born of many Blackmen: My Dad, my Uncle Popcorn (Von), Fr. Casey - our parish priest, Mr. Balfour - my 8th grade teacher, Mr. Rhodes - who owned the flower shop my family lived over & checked in on me everyday after school, Fr. Stewart - my hs religion teacher, my Great-Uncle Robert, Grandpa Bailey and my best friend Jackson. He's been my best friend since I was in high school and even though he's 20 years older than I, he's always counseled me well. They all guided me wisely, even my Dad whom I came to see in a totally different way once I became a man. He wasn't without his faults; he was a charmer with a gifted tongue for and way with women that was something to see - but in the end he too was my Father, as were all of them.

I've given a lot of thought to my passion for white women, I've dissected it, run from it, hidden it away, let it go, cursed myself and ultimately gave it up - out of a desire to not be seen as a sell-out, race traitor or self-hating uncle tom. Black People are still under siege in this country. You'd have to be near dumb, deaf and blind not to perceive and understand that. My work in Social Justice and Nonviolence is critically important to changing that and I'll never abandon my cause. Even in my profession I work to uplift the children of color whom I'm tasked with educating. And how can you be a Blackman and not acknowledge & respect our beautiful Blackwomen? My Moms raised me by herself on the South Side of Chicago and she holds it down. My Aunts (all 6 of them) helped raised me too. So I will never disrespect Blackwomen or my tribe. I'm not turning my back on Black People or abandoning who I am 'cause I like dating white women. And I like a certain type of white woman (well I have a certain type in general which is buxom and curvy, but that's for another blog) not ANY or ALL. It's not about having a white woman to show off or show that I've arrived, either. I'm not the least bit concerned with that kind of nonsense. So I've made my peace with liking/lusting for/desiring/wanting to date/fuck/go out with white women. When I gave it up I found that I lost a vital part of myself; indeed the world was a little grey to me and dulled down a bit. By giving it up my passion overall for life was diminished and that was even worse. My passion is about MY life. It's for MYSELF, not anyone else and I'm NOT apologizing for it. The type of white woman that resonates with me is physically lush (curvy - full lips & breats, wide hips, big butt) sensual, sexually mature, creative/artistic, metaphysical, urban and engaged with the world. She also has to understand what my experience is like as a Blackman and not twist that up out of her own fear and discomfort around dealing with the reality of racist white people and white privilege. I've meet far too many white women who were slumming, exploring thier racist fantasies with an exotic other or who related to me just as a big black cock. And one last thing: Having a preference is NOT an absolute; I'm open to all colors of the ethinic rainbow - I've dated all colors, shapes and sizes in my time.

DISAFFECT refers especially to those from whom loyalty is expected and stresses the effects (as rebellion or discontent) of alienation without actual separation -troops disaffected by hunger. from http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/dissaffection I've been thinking that the Internet reinforces disaffection in human beings, myself included. Alienation w/o separation, indeed. Are those human beings who replace real world physical interactions with keystrokes, microphones, cams and IM chatting already disaffected in themselves? Or does being in cyberland allow disaffection to sow seeds and germinate inside them until it displaces their sense of & need for the real? Why do so many humans try to relate through an artificially electronic means of communicating? Sure, email works as an excellent proxy when it's inconvenient for my friends to respond, but it doesn't supplant the communication between my friends and I. Yet some folks think that these cyber-relationships are real and treat them as such. "That's my online master/online sub/online sister/online brother/online friend." Yet they've never seen their smile, felt their skin, touched their hair, smelled their scent be it sweet or musky, watched them smile, cry or rage, or heard them speak of love, of life, of nothing at all or let themselves just be with said non-physical person. e-comm stuff will never replace human affection yet we're all still at it. Some people value and prefer it over their "real" relationships. Does it augment our human experience? I'm not so sure. I've never met so many disaffected people here who are disconnected from themselves & their true essence. While that may be the human condition, this place doesn't necessarily help. I am resolved to spend less time here and more time following my dreams and pursuing my passions out in the real world. But that's a cliche and not where I want to end this. Augmentation not Supplantation...

I keep asking myself that. Someone whom I was really interested in referred me here, and I decided to hang around after she flaked. Although it's kinda weird to have to block the person that referred you. But when someone profoundly disrespects you, you can't really ignore it. From what I gather, a lot of folks here gather points to do fu-things. I'm not really into that and even if I was, my schedule between school & work wouldn't allow it. I am a bit amazed at all of the going-ons around that stuff though. Can someone explain to me what a fu-girlfriend/wife is, or what it means to be fu-owned? No dis, that that seems very unreal to me. I'm really not on here expecting to meet anyone; I'm open to being friends (as much as one can in cyberland) with people, and possibly more. In terms of sheer numbers you can only interact with so many people. I have some fu-friends and already feel like I can't keep up with them. So we'll see how that goes. What I've done thus far is to look at people's profiles - that's interesting in itself, but if I'm really being honest with myself here I'd say that I just like looking at women's photos that I find attractive. I rate everyone as 10s regardless; it takes a lot of courage to be yourself in our looks-obsessed society. Beauty come is all shapes, sizes and ways so I'm not dissing any of that. I do however stay away from profiles that seem unsavory; folks with hateful images or such usually get ignored or blocked. I like the fact that other people out here share my interest in Kink & BDSM. It's very refreshing to see. People tend to put you in the weird/strange category without even bothering to find out what you're about, so it's cool to see others who are like me. It's a big part of me but not the only part, so if you're interested in knowing more about that part of me (or the rest), just ask. I'm going to post more pix and blogs about that part me here, but I'm going to keep them private in reserve for someone who's interested. So here I am in fuberland, posting for the first time. Let's see where it goes...