This is my first blog here. The reason I'm writing it is because I read a blog someone I just met from Cherry Tap wrote, and it gave me something to think about.
She wrote something about there are no more of a certain man...a man who would travel all kinds of distances to sweep a woman off of her feet. Someone romantic. Someone who isn't afraid to show emotion.
I fell in love with a woman from Illinois. She only lives about 1000 miles away from me. Everyday I feel bad that I wasn't able to go there just once and be with her forever. Even now that we've been broken up for about a year and a half I think about the "what ifs". We are at least still friends, and we still talk when we can, but I'm still here in New York City, and she's still in Illinois, although she has her own house, a great job, and things are looking up for her. I'm still in the same situation I've been in forever.
Does it make me less of a man? I begin to feel it may. It's my own destiny, and I have to be the one to follow it. However, I have my own responsibilities here. I have my family who needs me as much as anyone. I can't up and leave them, and I won't. If I do, I can't stay gone for long.
My family has always been really close. I'm not afraid of leaving them, it's not about fear. I feel they need me more than anyone else does. Don't get me wrong though. I have friends who I will visit one of these days who lives quite a distance from me, but that takes money, which I don't have enough of yet to make a stay elsewhere possible. I want to go though, and if I find someone important enough to me, I know my family will support my decision to stay with them, but I'd have to make every effort to return to see them when I can. I'm not against that.
I'm a man and although I have a perverted mind and am very open-minded when it comes to sex, what I really want is romance. I want to walk hand in hand along the beach at night and just gaze at the stars, or at each other while we chat about nothing. I want to hold someone for as long as possible, be it during watching a movie, or even after sex. I'm not against cuddling. In fact, I think it's the best part of the night. Exchanging emotions. I'm not afraid to show my feelings. I've shown tears for various reasons. Sadness, or even extreme happiness. One thing nobody can say about me, is that I'm a selfish person, because I always give up so much of myself for EVERYONE. Friends and family alike. It's my heart, and I follow it, sometimes before logic.
