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NILLA's blog: "Mean Parents"

created on 07/31/2007  |  http://fubar.com/mean-parents/b109703

Mean Parents

I had to take the opportunity to write this blog about parents… as I have been having some conversations with a friend about being a "mean mom". The topic came up in regard to P-13 movies and the types of cartoons my kids can watch, etc. And I will be the first to admit that I am rather strict on it… but it is for their good. And yes, I am very well aware that when they are at their dad's house, or at friends, etc. that they are going to be exposed to it, but at least it is not that way in my household. So upon realizing my "meanness," I had to dig up an email that I had received quite awhile back about the topic, as I had to share it with him. But I thought I would share it with everyone else, along with my two cents worth on the topic (whether you want to hear it or not… LOL). I can honestly relate to everything that is said in this email message… as I was definitely a kid growing up thinking that I had the meanest parents in the whole world. And it is even more funny to me as I catch myself repeating to my own kids exactly what they told me when I was growing up. My daughter told me the other day that I was the meanest mother in the world… I had to laugh (of course so she wouldn't hear me)… and I can't tell you how many times I have from her, "So and So gets to do it, or wear it, or have it, etc." And my simple response is, "Are you so and so, and am I her mother?" The email is written about "Mean Moms", but you can definitely substitute Dad for Mom anywhere in this message (or at least you could in my house growing up as a kid). Enjoy… Mean Moms Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
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