2671824's blog: "me"

you know im been thinking about you. you are the only one on my mind.i want to take you, hold you, give you love. i will be there for you. to give you what you deserve. i will catch you when you fall. you give me life. make my day bright. you make me feel warm. when i closed my eyes i hear wedding bells. i see us walking down the aisle together. i will take you, hold you, and give you more love than anyone ever could. when i look at the sky. see a falling star. i just close my eyes and smile for having a you in my life.i dont mind the sun burning me. i dont mind blizzard freezing me. as long im with you. i will give my love to you. you changed my life. i will give you my soul. cause i love you.you make me feel loved. you make me feel. dreams can come true. i my feelings are strong for you. it started when i first talked to you. i dont mind how the world is today. as long you're in my arms. this starts tonight. i will give you never ending loving. gently touch your face with my fingers. push your hair back. then gently kiss you on your lips. cause i love you. you make my life shine.

sometimes i asked myself what am i doing wrong. i try to do what i can but i always feel like im not doing anything right. is it im just picking the wrong person? well one of my past relationships all she does is get drunk. always have to drive her home. i guess its my fault too cause im the one paying for the shots and beers and the bar. after spending a lot of money on her alone on booze. i had to cut down on it. well that was it. i wont go too much on the details. i meant another woman but she don't get drunk. that's a good thing i guess. but she loves to spend her money on everything but her own bills. i felt so bad i helped her pay her utilities. went to hospital to be there for her surgery. helped her get a phone. made her feel she didn't have to live a abusive life. what i get in return was seeing her exbf fucking her in the bedroom. he hits her yells at her. treats her like shit. but she chose to go back with him. in her eyes im not good enough for her. wow just thinking about it. a abusive man has better luck than me. well i been telling myself im going to be single my whole life. i thought i found someone who is perfect. at 1st she was. we got our own place. she cheat on me within our 3rd month being together. i dont know why but i gave her another chance. i always try to forgive everyone. well she wanted to get married. i said yes. we decided to move to columbus,oh. i helped her get into school. get her bachelor degree. i worked and paid all the bills. all she did was go to school 2 - 3 days a week. well it wasn't enough. i wasn't perfect either. i have some blame too. it gets frustrating when you get other men just calling and calling asking to speak to my room mate. than they start asking for someone else. that time i gave up on our relationship. i let her do her thing. i just need to be prepared that she would be out of here when she get her degree. i couldn't throw her out cause she didn't have anywhere to go. i never force someone to be homeless. i been through that for few months. wasn't long but still a feeling i wouldn't want to try again. she told me she wanted a life was the main reason she left me. i have to admit i have a very boring life. but i couldn't afford to go out all the time cause i didn't have any help. well close to her graduation she decided to get a job. after a month or 2 she left while i was working. i wish i said good bye to her. i wish i could had worked things out. but last time we kissed i didn't feel anything. you know when you kiss someone you can sometimes tell if the person has feelings.i didn't feel anything when we kissed. after all this i should get a tattoo on my forehead saying im a sucker. i don't know what else to do. i guess having a relationship with someone who believes same as me is only a dream. some say it but they give you so many signs showing they dont. im always faithful. i never cheat or thought about cheat on anyone.