Over 16,528,622 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Now the angry side of me is growing! It's bad enough to see Kiki crying because of the pain (which causes us both to lose a great deal of sleep, daily), and vomiting every few hours (which makes (our) drastic weight loss even more devastating), but she just got off the phone with a family member begging for help, and it was excruciating to hear and see! I'm so ashamed to be a member of this weak and pathetic species. As dumb as ants are at least they know how to work together for the common good. What ever happened to the days when people had pride in being charitable.
Kiki and I have always given those in need something of ourselves when we had nothing monetary or material to give. A kind word or two. A warm compassionate hug. Help finding answers or contacts that knew some way to help. Excluding those of you who extend these gestures and sentiments (beyond yourselves) to others out of the goodness of your hearts, I pity those of you who don't. I exert very little energy in doing so, but I do feel the shame for you that you do not feel within yourselves. Sure, most of you aren't like me and Kiki. And you never will be. If you don't feel a bit awkward for this fact, then you should think long and hard about why you're even taking up space on this planet.
Why are you breathing our air? Why are you pretending to hold righteous intentions toward other human beings, when all you do is talk about how you believe, but have no motivation to apply it in the real world. A world you overcrowd with you very presence. A world you fill only with the pretense of your very existence. You human-nequins. You soulless zombies waiting to drop dead and further burden the living with your burial. A mere disposal of previously-active tissue, organs, fluids and bones. Some will weep for your absence; probably out of reflex or familial duty. They may look at pictures of you and recollect the passing of shared experiences.
But those moments will expire, and they may just drone through life as you have. So what did your life stand for? An ideal or two that you would never have done anything more than encourage others to stand up for, go to war for, die for? What will others do but shuffle your material belongings around until they find new keepers? Will your memory be more than a series of recorded interactions between others like yourself? Will her/his life mean as little as yours did? You should take these rhetorical questions under serious consideration, and truly ponder them deeply. If my words offend you, you're most likely of the ilk of which I speak. So what, right? Who cares, yeah? Who am I?
I know you've got judgments of your own about every single person, and every single thing under the sun. Congratulations, you've got the ability to make observations as well. My point is this, maybe you aren't doing enough to justify wearing your meat suit (flesh). You know the difference between right and wrong. We all do. So since neither of us is our own government, or an official (agent) filling such a position, keep pretending the resources on the planet are distributed equally. Keep believing that you deserve the life you live, and that you really care about starving children in the Czech Republic, or Africa with A.I.D.S. You say "What a shame." in the presence of others, but you couldn't give a spit for them. You don't know them.
You feel no sense of loss for them when they die, or the catastrophes they endure, because, after all, it's not on your "turf"; as if you and the government have some secret agreement. But when a bomb goes off under the bench you're sitting on the mall of your 'hood, they'll use your tax dollars to squeegie you off the widow of Forever 20-Blonde, or mop you off the floor near the Stellarbucks kiosk. A few weeks will go by, and there will be a huge sale at Forever 20-Blonde on cloisonne ear rings shaped like cats wearing burets with smug looks on their faces, heads slightly tilted at an angle, chins upward.
Stellarbucks will move to another level as not to remind people of the stain you left behind on a floor that mall management is in deep contemplations with corporate headquarters about whether they should hike the rent for the next company whose kiosk will occupy the location where you've "left your mark (in life)". After all, it's not their fault they have to completely resurface the entire level due to your "being at the wrong place at the wrong time". Maybe your entire life has been defined as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe you should stop being so concerned about how all-important you are to nobody but yourself. Maybe you should've thought about how you could've helped others with your surplus resources.
Maybe it's too late. Maybe.
