MattShizzle's blog: "MattShizzlesLife"

Well, this is Carla's last chance. She doesn't call or message me tonight I'm going to tell her to go to hell and never contact me again. Sick of the games and being ignored. Found out she's been less than honest with me, too. I fucking hate being lied to!

Well, I'm almost 100% sure it's over between me and Carla now. I can't keep taking this. She may even be seeing someone. Either way I think she has too much on her plate for a relationship, and as sensitive as I am it's not healthy for me to keep this up. Just feel about as depressed as I ever been in my life.

My cat Ti died today. He had cat alzheimers so it was kinda merciful, but still sad. R.I.P. Ti April 8 1991 - April 20 2007.

I heard from Carla. She told me she wasn't playing games but I'm so emotional. Don't know whether to believe her. Didn't really mean what I said - I'd hate to see anything bad happen to her. I still love her. Don't know about going back to her - she has hurt me terribly and I think she's bad for me.

Well, I think Carla's been playing me all along. She changed her mind about the engagemet almost 2 weeks ago. I was OK and just wanted to be with her. Anyway, she was ignoring me again - sometimes I don't hear from her for 2 or 3 weeks. Was so in love I didn't really think of it. I finally was - noticed she could be on a social networking site every fucking day but couldn't say one damn word to me. Finally messaged her "Fuck you bitch!" Now the ball's in her court. Not going to beg her to talk anymore. If she wants to she can contact me. Anyway until she does I consider myself single again. Still feel so fucking hurt.

Well, I'm off this weekend. Not much going on. Hopefully Carla calls me. I love her so much.

Well, I see someone has a crush on me here now. Only problem for them is they waited until I was engaged to a woman I truly love.

I asked Carla to get engaged last night and she said yes!

Last night I went to my 15 year high school reunion. Was pretty cool - lots of people looked very different, though I was told I look almost exactly the same. I gave some people my e mail. I also won the centerpiece and a cooking set.

Well, I heard a bit about what's up. Carla isn't playing games with me. For some reason she thinks she isn't good enough for me. She said this before and I really don't understand why she does. She is plenty good enough for me and I love her. I just want to be with her. I know we would be happy together.