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Ellie's blog: "Ellie"

created on 05/18/2010  |  http://fubar.com/ellie/b332582

Matters of the heart.

Wouldn't life be easy if when broken, all it took was some super glue or tape to fix it and it would be just like new? If our wounds would heal easily without scars? And if those scars wouldn't clog our hearts with unnecessary prejudices and knock off our rose colored lenses and replace them with eyes of disenchantment. Wouldn't it be easy? If pain was that simple to be rid of? Blink and be washed away with yesterday's meal floating in the porcelain tank, back into the ocean with its brethren. Wouldn't that be something... if we could say goodbye to pain like a disengaged stranger walking the plank.

If we were all empathetic with the people that are in our lives and took care of each other with mutual love and respect, maybe this world would definitely be a better place. I suppose it's a far-reaching goal to sit here and hope for compassion from a world that is irrevocably cruel and unforgiving. Life would not be life without an uphill battle. Would we appreciate the "have-s" without having experienced the "have not-s"? We tend to base the voids of our existence in comparison with the accomplishments of those that surround us, viable resources they are when living in the juxtaposition of a shadow and neglecting our own worth. Is it stupid to hope for world where people are kind with each other's hearts?

Wouldn't life be easy if we held those who break us accountable for our "purchase". "You Break, You Buy!" Would we be snatched off the shelf of life to be passed along to the one responsible for our deterioration after the first break. Would we cherish it more or less, knowing that we were forced to purchase our mistake? Most likely less... we never want what we have already broken. It's not fun to play with anymore...it's defective and undesirable; time to find another toy to destroy. I guess one can't hope to go through life free of the collateral damage--that would be unrealistic. I hope that we all have our share of pain, it makes us human. Knowing that it is there, the capacity to inflict bodily and emotional harm makes us more courageous and empathetic. It doesn't take much to fall, but to get back up and try again... that is courage.

We trek through life thinking... I am going to be broken now and again, we all need to experience pain of the heart to survive. And although we anticipate the magnitude of said pain, it is usually underestimated. If we were held responsible for each other's hearts as if they were our own, would we still be as cruel? As manipulative? As indecent and perverse with our motivations and intentions? I wonder about that. We are all guilty of breaking spirits, hearts, and people. It's inevitable. I just hope that we leave a piece to regenerate what hope has lost. That's all one can hope.

Life is not a bed of roses. It is a bloody uphill battle. Most do not survive, most are D.O.A, but those that do understand more of pain, of the fight, of evolution, of the taste of blood, of survival, of what it takes to get up from the ashes and fly again. It's a harrowing lesson, one that our masochistic tendencies revel in.

But i wish we would remember more... that we are all daughters and sons, who have mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, who have grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and that we are human. We are fallible, we will make mistakes and hurt people. But I wish we would remember more often that we are a part of the human race and that when it comes to matters of the heart, that we should treat them as we would hope to be treated and how we would want the world to treat those that we love as well.

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