Married Man's Story
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words' I do.'
Here's an example of what I mean.
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said 'WHAT????!!!'
What was that?!
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads
hearing...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I
think I threw her for a loop when I said, " That's fine, honey."
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier'. I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out,
'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
'WHAT???!!!'
I then said, 'Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
