O hell, what to say, lets see, crazy ass biker running down the road with his hair on fire yelling YEEEE HAAAA.

Transplanted Vegas boy enjoying eastern Tennessee now....

Looking for a hammer, a drum of petroleum based lubricant, and 5 coconuts. Could also use a trained monkey....

And now one of the great monologues from recent years....

"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."


Nice to know how I am going to go...

How will I die? Your Result: You will die in a nuclear holocaust.   The country responsible will be an unexpected one. I hope that you will be close to the epicenter of the explosion. Radiation is terrible. Your death, however, will always be remembered.
You will die while having sex.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die in a car accident.
You will be murdered.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die of boredom.
How will I die? Create a Quiz

I prize for anyone who can tell me where this is from:

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day

(He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day)

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea

(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars

(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papar

(He cuts down trees...)
(He's a lumberjack...)



Bartender I really did it this time
Broke my parole to have a good time
When I got home it was 6 AM
The door was locked so I kicked it in

She was trippin’ on the bills
I think she was high on some pills
She threw my shit out into the yard
Then she called me a bum and slapped me real hard

And in my drunken stuper
I did what I should have of done
Now I’m sittin’ here talking to you
Drunk and on the run

I’m sittin’ at a bar on the inside
Waitin’ for my ride on the outside
She broke my heart, in the trailer park
So I jacked the keys to her fuckin’ car
Crashed that piece of shit n-then stepped away

You know Mo I’ll probably get ten years
So just get me beers till they get here
Yea I know the sun is comin’ up
And yall are probably get ready to closein’ up
But im trying to dry my sole
I m tired of this life on the dirt road
Everything that I love is gone
And I’m tired of hangin on

Im sittin’ at a bar on the inside
Waitin’ for my ride on the outside
She stole my heart, in the trailer park
So I jacked the keys to her fuckin’ car
And crashed that piece of shit n-then stepped away

Yes it was meant to be
Romance is misery
So much for memories
And now I am headed to the penitentiary
See me on TV
The next cop series
I am a danger
I guess I should have did something about my angry
But I never learn
Real things I don’t concern
I pour kerosene on everything I love
And watch it burn
I know it’s my fault
But I wasn’t happy it was over
She threw a fit
So I crashed that piece of shit over

And now I am going back again
Back to the pin to see my friends
When we all phial of that county van
Don’t ask me where I been

I been at bar on the inside
Waitin’ for my ride on the outside
She broke my heart, in the trailer park
So I jacked the keys to her fuckin’ car
I Crashed that piece of shit n-then stepped away