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Daniel Fo Faniel's blog: "Love"

created on 02/23/2007  |  http://fubar.com/love/b58576

Writting my heart out.

Wanna know what I really hate? I hate liars. I hate fakes. I hate people who hurt other people intentionally. I hate not seeing the truth. I hate not forgetting. I hate dreaming about the pain I felt. I hate her more than anything. I hate that I hate her more than I used to love her. I hate that I write songs about the pain she caused me. I hate that it happened 4 and a half years ago and that it hurts to think about it. I hate that even though I found the love of my life, she still manages to hurt me. I hate that I can't forget what happened. I hate that I can't forget what we had. I hate that she didn't really leave. I hate hating her.. But most of all.. I hate not being able to write this without tears in my eyes.

Perception

I look at someone wearing Famous, and I make gag noises. Someone looks at me, and thinks I am a total idiot. Stephanie eats broccoli, and throws up gagging. My mom used to look at me and thought I was a girl for hanging out with girls over guys. Pereception: the nice way of saying our "closed minded thoughts" of things. I perceive things very differently than other people; that's probably what makes me so cool, amirite? :) Nawh, but, seriously. I can remember when I used to perceive things completely differently: my life style, who I hanged out with, what I wore, what I did, what I said -- all was based on pereception. Old: "Don't say that, they'll think you're weird." New: "Why not? Too bad if they don't like me; other people will still like me in the end." In philosophical meanings, I have grown an interest on people perceiving people. My friends. What do others perceive of them? I can blatantly point out who I think is the most normal of them; who's the weirdest; who's the best looking, ETC. But it'd be different for everyone of them, I'm sure. Now, if someone I don't like talks about my friends, then I will, of course, be the total defensive friend that I am, and murder them relentlessly. But, on-topic again, my friends? I think most of them are perceived as different. That bodes well with my personality though, so, I don't really care. But if I ever do open my mind for a moment, and see things from another perspective, then I can actually go: "Wow. People besides me DO actually think and have feelings!" But that doesn't happen often. Like I said, I love my friends. It's probably due to the fact that I usually hate my family and all of their standards and lifestyle, and need some hearthy feeling when lonesome. If I hear they does something indisputably horrible to someone else.. I don't think I could get mad at them. Unless, I was good friends with the person who experienced the tragedy as well. Isn't that kind of bad? I cling on to my friends worse than... hm. Can't think of a good sex analogy here. I'll let you perverts think for me instead. ;) Perception defines life. Next time you pull a Daniel, and be close minded, try to think openly.

This is love.

I love you............ Yes.... You........ I promise you my love I promise you my heart I promise you my life I promise we'll never be apart I promise not to hurt you I promise to never make you cry I promise to always trust you I promise not to lie I promise you forever I promise you tonight I promise you my respect I promise to do things right I promise to always be there I promise until the end I promise to always love you I promise to be yours I promise you my love I promise you my life I promise this forever I promise our love is my life You know who you are............ And you know how I feel......... I love you.......... I always will..........
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