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Love

Well, I find this Odd... I thought I loved Andrew. i mean, I REALLY freaking did. And I DO miss him at times. But, what i feel for Adam... is unexplainable. I find myself wanting to be around him all the time... I find myself wanting to never leave him, and wanting him to always be MINE. just hearing his voice makes me happy... Everything about him seems perfect. I mean, suuuuure no one is perfect... but still... I feel like everything I could ever want from a man, he gives me. He makes me feel, important... like, I'm the only thing that matters to him. I mean, obviously, i'm NOT... because, well, eevryone has all kinds of important people in their lives... but it's how he makes me FEEL... like I'm "number one" his little world... and I love it. He makes me feel important, and loved. I don't get ignored for stupid shit... I mean, he stays up late to talk to me, and my silly little butt is up at 5a when he wakes up talking to him. I mean, we spend hours each day talking... and my breaks we talk... it's like, off and on all day... I love it... it's like, constant Robin attention :D I'm like, yyaayy!! And, it's like, all I want to do is share everything i am with him. He's stolen my heart. He had it a long time ago... I found myself not wanting things to work with Andrew just to be with Adam. He's just so sweet. I couldn't ask for any more from him... he gives me everything I need... although i'd wwaayyy like to spend more time with him... silly work schedules :( It just sucks... cuz, I want to just be able to spend time with him... I miss him the second after I leave him. He makes me so happy. And, the feeling I get when he kisses me... is unlike anything I've ever felt in my life. He is soo amazing. I've never been so happy with a man in my entire life. He fits. He belongs. Right where he is... in my life. I have never felt so lucky to have someone. I mean, god... words are one thing... saying something... doesn't mean much... but the feeling i have... I'm like, wow. How did I get this lucky? He is everything I ever wanted in a man. I mean, sure, Andrew was awesome, when he wanted to be. There were times I was convinced I could spend the rest of my life with him. But, between him not talking to me, drinking, ignoring me for video games, and then the DRUGS.... it became obvious I made a huge mistake. I mean, yeah, he always said the perfect things at the perfect times... but I never really FELT like he cared... But Adam... wow. He is so amazing. He's got my heart. In a world full of men, he's all I see. I mean, sure, it may sound cheesy, but it's true. No other man could even compare to him. He is so amazing. I feel like i have everything in the world, knowing I have his love. I don't know HOW i got this lucky... everything I've ever wanted from every other guy i've dated, he gives me... He fulfills all of my needs and wants... So, i'm guessing this is what LOVE really is. I don't ever want to imagine my life without him. I never want to lose him. I know I love him. I mean, of course, I don't know whats going to happen between him and I... and I don't know what the future holds... I can only hope it involves him and I being together. Because I'm so happy with him. I feel like everything in the world is perfect JUST BECAUSE I have him... And, I'm so ok, with saying, I'm completely his. I don't feel the need to flirt with other men, nor do I ever want to. I have no need to even think about other men. And of course, yeah, I'm normally so so very flirtatious, but, with him, I don't need any more attention. i've got everything I need with him. All the attention i could ever want, I get from him. I dont want anything or anyone else. Don't need it. He is all I need. and all i want. Him, and him alone. And the craziest thing of all... I would do anything in this world to make him happy... to know he's happy with me. I'm like, wow... who I am, what have I done with ME? I'm concerned about what I can do to make sure HE is happy... But I don't care... All i want is HIM and for him to be happy. Preferrably with ME :) I'm not sure what else I could say. I feel like I could go on and on forever about him... and how he makes me feel... I love it... I love HIM... I mean, I really do. i love him so so much. And, when he sat there, and told me yesterday morning he loved me... wow. I can not explain what I felt... I have never felt so happy, and like, wow... in my entire life. It was perfect. (I mean, of course, we're not including stuff with the girls in this, because OMG the days they were born... those were the happiest days of my life... we're discussing non child oriented days and things :) ) I've never been so happy with a man in my entire life. And, I KNOW he means it when he says it. This is the one time in my life, I can truthfully say, I don't want anything to change! (except for moving, that needs to happen...) But as far as in my relationship with him, I wouldn't change anything... and things can only get better... I would like to spend more time with him, but right now, it just makes the time we DO get to spend together that much more awesome! I just feel like, I can't get enough of him. I just want to stay in his arms forever. I would give anything to wake up in his arms... and hear him tell me he loves me. I mean, I've never wanted someone so bad in my entire life. I've never felt whatever this is... I just know I love him. So much. And I never want to lose him... Ok, yeah, I'm still going on and on :) I could do this forever!!! But, I wont... i'll shut up now... I've got things to do anyways... like, clean, and stuff... it's already NOON... when did this happen?? lol Anyways, Adam, I adore you, I love you. You're everything to me :) *kisses and hugs*
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