Ya know, I have realized, the sheer mention of the word "love" scares me. It seems, so, foreign. Like, aliens (and not the ones from mexico) should be using it. Wikipedia defines love as follows: {Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.} Oneness people!!! *lol* doesn't seem like such a big deal from that definition though. any number of emotions realted to a strong sense of affection. Which would describe how I feel about my cat.... my nipple rings.... the guy who does my tats.... I mean, it's such a broad definition.... the rest of it... {Depending on context, love can have a wide variety of intended meanings. Romantic love is seen as a deep, ineffable feeling of intense and tender attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships.[2] Love can also be conceived of as Platonic love,[3] religious love,[4] familial love, and, more casually, great affection for anything considered strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, including activities and foods.[5][2] This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the concept's depth, versatility, and complexity.} GREAT AFFECTION FOR ANYTHING CONSIDERED STRONGLY PLEASURABLE.... INCLUDING ACTIVITIES.... so, when people say sex and love aren't the same thing, aren't they though? By defition, they are. Strange, huh? CUz, i don't know about you, but sex... is EXTREMELY PLEASURABLE, for me, and I take GREAT AFFECTION towards sex. *lol*
Why am i saying all of this, you may ask.... I don't know... but I had to find a way to keep myself from feeling so freaked out, since SOOOO many people decide they love me. Do you realize, yesterday alone, I had 5 men tell me they loved me... FIVE.... and i'm like, wow, i feel very, stalked.... but at the same time, looking at the definition of "love", it's easy to "love" someone...
Although, I personally do not believe in "love".... its like some crazy hallmark bullshit. I mean, of course, i LOVE my kids, I LOVE tiffany, i LOVE jill, I LOVE myself, my tats, my nipple rings, my cat, jason (tiff, is that his name? or is it james... *lol*) my brother, most of my friends, i love a lot of people. But i don't see this romantic, unending "bonding" love, that people seem to think exists. If love, by their definitions existed, to me, you wouldn't just "fall out" of love.... it would be truly eternal, and unending, depsite what happened in the relationship.... and as i watch the world around me, I have a tough time believing in love... So, i guess when people tell me, they love me, in the romantic sense... it scares me. Either because they MUST be crazy... or because i feel like they don't know ME... i mean, i'm sure there are other underlying causes.... which i dislike. But, the love thing seems so, fake. So, made up.
I dunno~ i suppose my life experiences have taught me to feel this way, and maybe i shouldn't feel like this... maybe one of these days there will be some guy, who fixes all of this for me, and makes me truly believe in the power of love... but considering how people "ACT" when they love people, i think i'd rather have no part of it... too much bullshit, too much stress... too much time taken out of my day. I am totally cool w/ just NOT dealing w/ that drama. I guess thats why i always prefer the "friends w/ benefits" thing... i don't HAVE to deal w/ the annoying love you shit.... I don't have to analyze someone's feelings, I don't have to take things out of context. I guess I seem to think when you love someone you WON'T hurt them... although, i know it's NOT true... but I guess i feel that way... that if you love someone, you wouldn't hurt them, be mean to them, say stupid fucked up shit to them... Maybe it's not true. OOHHH, i dunno.... too much confusion for me... Myabe one of these days I will have all of this sorted out... figured out... and be happy... until then... i'm just lost...
