SP Gargoyle MP's blog: "LOVE"

There has been many times I thought I was in Love and the feeling's I was having was like nothing I have ever felt in my whole life. My heart was filled with these feeling that I never felt before and it made me so happy and filled with joy.

 I have felt Love for my family and friends but never a feeling like this ever before and I'm still wondering sometimes was it Love I was feeling or  was it just lust, me being horny or just heartburn lol.

 There has been times in my life that I seen a woman that I knew that it was just lust and just wanted to sleep with her and that was for a long time in my life until the first time I had sex with a woman and that was when I was 27 which was 17 years ago. But after she told me that it was out of pity I was hurt and lost inside and then my second time was the same thing it was just because I brought her out on her birthday and showd her a good time she felt like she owed me for doing that for her.

 Now it's been a long time because the first woman I slept with was also the last woman I slept with which was 17 years ago and I wish I would of waited even though I would be a 44 year old virgin I wouldn't feel so empty inside and lost.

 I have feeling for a woman on here but I don't think it's going to go any where but what it is right now. So what I'm trying to say what is real Love and out of my past have I ever really been in Love or was it just fools Love which is some thing like fools gold but it hurts more.

 Well as alway's I will never give up and I will never stop looking because someday I will find the one that God has chosen for me to grow old with.