I feel another sleepless night coming on. It's 2 in the morning and I'm still up..on the computer. It's hard to sleep alone, I guess I'm just not used to it yet. I have shared my bed with the same man for 7 years and now nothing, but emptyness. Well my son sleeps with me but the occasional foot of a 4 year old kicking me in the back side does not compare.......
I know eventually it will get easier, but that doesn't help me with the here and now. Sometimes I wish somebody could tell me what to do, just something to make this a little bit easier....No I take that back! I think too much advice is what is making everything worse. I have friends who want to see him stay, I have friends who want to see him go, and then there are those who say they are my "friends" but have their own personal stake in how my marriage ends up. This is why my world is so FUCKED UP right now! I don't know which way is up and i feel like i am being pulled in 20 different directions. I don't even think I can sort my own feelings out at this point. Damn this sucks......the only thing you have time to do is think.....on these sleepless nights....................
