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What are you waiting for?
Anxiety screams thus no one hears
Yet punctured sanity cries a question,
Its walls close in as life becomes naught
Still I suffocate with no regret or thought.
Damned to feel and doomed to fall
A hypnotic state of failed freedom
On bended knees I crawl through blood
An eternity falling, a sudden thud.
Like a box of mysteries that has no key
My mind is a secret too dangerous to share,
Then loneliness became a way to live
But I'm tired now; I have nothing left to give.
Existence is a lie painted for the public
Its truth shall free the soul from doubt
Yet one question I've longed to speak
Now that I'm dead, am I still weak?
How can you love this Lost Girl?
The one who wanders off the beaten path,
With the false comfort of forever being lost.
How can you love this girl with the dirt on her knees?
Falling upon the ground, curled up in the fetal position,
Tears mark their tracks down her face like acid,
Every pain the same as the last,
Using the fear of the past as trepidation of the new.
Where did I go wrong?
Did I hurt you too much
with my kindness?
Where did I go wrong?
Did my love for you
mean absolutely nothing?
Where did I go wrong?
Did I not amount to
your standards?
Where did I go wrong?
I ask myself as my heart
continues to be stabbed,
played, and broken.
How could I be so blind?
I was blinded by your charm,
and gentlemen like actions.
Where did I go wrong?
I don't understand what went
wrong with us.
I was just putting you through a
test and to see where your loyalties
lied.
Clearly, your promise to me,
that you wouldn't hurt me,
and wouldn't mess this relationship up
was all B.S.
Where did I go wrong?
I guess it went wrong
by letting my feelings for you
come out.
I will have to work on keeping
myself more closed.
I will never open up to
another man ever again.
Because all they do is screw you
over for there own needs and wants.
In the gloom of darkness , praying for sleep.
Wanting to erase our final night together.
You told me I no longer had your love.
That sad night you had cut our tether.
You had lied and hurt me once before.
Now again you've caused me pain.
I believed you when you wanted to return.
You told me your love would sustain.
Months have passed, now you've called again.
Wanting us to talk tomorrow.
I said I needed time to think, and to ponder.
Seeing you again would revive my sorrow.
You called for my answer, hope in your tone.
I told you it was not to be.
Because of your whims, I've suffered much.
It's time my heart is set free.
I said "no" to you, and a love without trust.
I can't go on with your whimsical ways.
You'll hurt others that might love you.
Hopefully, I'll find much better days.
What I didn't tell you was that I still care.
My heart still aches for your gentle touch.
I hunger for your comforting arms to hold me.
I'll always love you so very very much.
Tears of blood fall from my broken heartI never thought we would be apart
When you held me you said "forever"Now that you're gone I know you meant "never"
Saying you love me with that look in your eyeAnd that was a cold hearted lie
Your tender touch, a soft kissTwo things about you I will miss
As I sit here thinking about youMy face is wet with tears past due
I should've cried a long time agoBut I loved you so
I know they say love is blindBut I had only you on my mind
A hurt so deep it cuts like a knife But wounds heal and I'll go on with my life
Lonely and hurt,
Broken I remain
Residing in hell,
living in pain
Masked by lies,
I slowly fade away;
The nightmare I live with,
each and every day
The meaning of it all,
to which my mind attends
Has not one answer
that I fully comprehend
The bottom of my mind
holds the answers which I call;
I keep reaching towards it
in this never-ending fall
"Stay strong and keep going,
it's never too late"...
No one seems to realize
that it's not worth the wait
There's no such thing
as help outside of your mind,
It's you against yourself,
with your demons intertwined
It's a battle, hard fought,
but never to be won...
Either way you end up losing
when it's all said and done
"Too late" came and passed
and, of me, nothing more
I wrote my own ending,
and I shut my own door
"Live your life to its fullest"
that's what they all said,
But what's the point in trying
when you're already dead?
You are the cause
You are my pain
You are the reason
I'm going insane
I hate you dearly
My soul will ache
As long as I know
That you're awake
You've made me weak
You forced me to lie
You are the reason
Why I still cry
You've ruined my life
It's all your fault
I cannot escape
Your deadly assault
I'm haunted by you
And your twisted soul
Your hate stricken mind
holds a selfish control
I wish for your death
To be painful and slow
I wish for the day
You go down below
I want you to suffer
For all that you've done
My sadness was born
The day you begun
Everything you know
Everything you touch
has been destroyed
By your evil clutch
I place this on you
This is your blame
There's no one else
This is your shame
You deserve the worst
May you never be free
At least I'm not selfish
Because you are to blame......
You coerced me to swallow your list of demands
until I'd collapse, drunk on your restrictions.
Intoxicated by your manipulative words,
I keep losing pieces of me as I follow your lead.
I attempt to stand yet I have no balance.
Waves of ignominy ripple my entire being.
Living in fear - living an oppressed life,
without the strength to persevere.
My vision is blurred - I can't distinguish between
the truth and the lies; they appear to be the same.
I seem to have lost all of my possessions,
for I myself have become your possession.
Even when I'm hungover, you feed me your booze,
reluctant to grant me permission to become sober.
Longing for my freedom - if such notion exists;
perhaps I will be free when I vomit the last drop.
The first thought in the morning is your name
When eating alone imagining you are there
Taking a nap daydreaming
and Spending my time just thinking
as I Enter the world of reality
there's a courage to see you
Taking any path just to meet you
Even if it's so hard
still patiently searching just to be with you.
Finally the heaven is found
It's a paradise when our eyes met
The flowers started to bloom
The birds are singing the song of love
while the trees are dancing,
and the sweet breeze of the wind is comforting.
as i look at you
your eyes are shining like a star
your touch is like a feather of the dove
everything about you is perfect
that's why I'll give my heart, soul, and trust in you.
I love you so much
I hope this will never end.
