A while ago I met a young man that had recently taken his journey of love down the road of marriage. I, with my self-proclaimed infinite wisdom (well at least I'm a few good years older than he), thought it import to send him along with a few nuggets of my wisdom, forged from my life experience and advice given to me.
Although I was speaking in terms of marriage, what I told him can very well be applied to amorous relationships in general. I'm no expert, and ultimately we all have to find what works for us, but he was very appreciative of what I told him.
"Marriage is like car. It's shiny and full of power off the showroom floor, but if not properly cared for it can run down quickly and become the next centerfold in your local Penny Saver or Recycler. The following are just some "car care" from one car owner to another:
1. THERE WILL BE BUMPS AND HAZARDS ALONG THE WAY
Hopefully they'll be few and far between. Just steer clear of the avoidable hazards. The bumps that you don't see or just dismissed as harmless (but comes back to get ya!) will serve as life experience from which you can learn and grow wiser.
2. DON'T GET LAX WITH THE MAINTENANCE
Fix the little problems right away and keep it well-tuned. Marriage can be awesome, but it is not self-tuning. The little things do mean a lot! Especially things that are taken for granted. Keep tweakin' and tunin' to keep it running smoothly.
3. BE PREPARED AND WILLING TO DO MAJOR REPAIR
Life is full of accidents. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves that we don't realize what road we've veered off on until we hit something head on. If you're both willing to work at it, major repair may be difficult but not impossible! Love grows and strengthens when you both overcome an adversity together.
4. OCCASIONALLY PUT IT ON THE HIGHWAY AND OPEN IT UP!
Between work & school you'll probably find quality time diminishing. Schedule some time so you can just put the pedal to the metal and let those tires screech like a bat out of hell!
5. ENJOY THE RIDE TOGETHER
Spend plenty of time (I must emphasize this), and I mean PLENTY of time getting to know each other as a married couple. Enjoy each other's company. Indulge in each other, for once the kiddies come along it's no longer about just you two.
6. ALWAYS REVIEW YOUR ROAD MAP
Make sure to take the time out just to talk about any and everything. Make sure that you both want to arrive at the same destination together. Make plans you both can accept. This may take compromise on both parties, but a big part of love & and marriage is compromise. You can't compromise if the lines of communication are closed, so keep talkin' (pillow talk included)!
Last but not least, make sure that only you and your wife drive your "car". It's okay to seek (good) advice, but don't let anyone else behind the wheel!
I'll close with this last tidbit. Lead her only when she needs to be led back up to where you are. Fall behind her only when she needs an encouraging push. Most importantly, keep her at your side where she belongs. You are equal partners, and she should be your right hand. Always treat her as your best friend and confidant. It's not about who's king of the castle or who wears the pants. You both have strengths and weaknesses. Be strong where she's lacking, and don't be afraid to ask her for help. She's your wife. Real men know when they need help and they ask. Throw the macho crap out the window (unless someone else is trying to ransack your kingdom!) You both can rule your kingdom peacefully, and the last time I checked women are still wearing pants too!
Good luck to you both!"