The Dhampir Isa's blog: "Lost"

I have lost myself, everything that I have call myself has changed and its all a result of an admitance to myself. The sorce of my being lost is a man, go figure right. I have loved this guy for years, even before I met him if thats even possible, but now I've admitted it to myself I'm afraid to even talk to him. Pathetic right?

I love him more than myself, more than anything else that I have ever loved before combined together. He is my everything and I just wish that he could see it. It hurts to think that I may have lost him because he is everything to me. I can't breathe without him running through my mind, can't wake without wondering if he is alright or what he is doing. I know that he is the one. I know that he has always been THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE.

I ran away so many time from him. Ran away from the love that I felt for him. It's just that I have been left by or beaten by every man in my life that I have ever felt love for and I was afraid that he would do the same. I mean in my heart I know and have known that he wouldn't do that, but it was a paralyzing fear. It was a fear that I have taken four years to be able to conquer to be able to admit to myself much less to others. I just pray every minute of every day, to gods that I don't even believe in and some that I do, that I haven't run so many times that I ruined my chance to be with him....to be truly happy with the man that I am 100000000000000000000000000% in love with.

For THE ONE that I am talking about: I love you, always have and always will. I will never leave again. It would kill me to even think about doing it again. You are my life, the very air that I breathe. I love you and I will never be able to tell you that enough times or even be able to tell you exactly how deeply the love runs. I love you!